


All By [Her]Himself

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-07 04:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11615433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Have you seen Michelle at all? Did she transfer?" Brooke asked Jenna.✤❃✤" H-Hey, I'm Michelle! "✤❃✤" You can call me Michael. "❊✤❃✤❊✤❃✤❊✤❃✤❊What happens when a little Michelle Mell doesn't feel like Michelle? Maybe Michael suites her better.Jeremy Heere has been her friend since Kindergarden, and his since 7th Grade.So what had happened to Michelle in 7th Grade?She was right there the whole time as Michael.*TW- Transphobic Slurs, Suicidal Thoughts, Self Harm*





	1. Chapter One // Kindergarten

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of a joke chapter I swear it'll get more serious as it goes on

Jeremy walked into the classroom, gripping his backpack nervously, the teacher walked up to the nervous and awkward six year old.

She crouched down next to Jeremy and looked at him kindly. " Hey sweetie, are you late? "

"Umm... Yeah." Jeremy nodded.

" Okay. Well, go find a spot on the rug. Anywhere you want. " The teacher told Jeremy and ruffled his hair a bit.

Jeremy shuffled over to the rug, looking around at the other kids.

Michelle looked around the room that was brightly decorated and saw a boy in the back of the classroom. He looked nice so she waved at him smalley.

Jeremy looked at the girl, waving back and walking over and sitting next to her, "H- Hi."

" H-Hey, I'm Michelle! " She smiled at Jeremy with a small stutter in her words.

"I'm Jeremy." He said a little more confidently.

" How come you got here later than everyone else? " Michelle asked Jeremy, tilting her head a little bit.

"My dad was looking for pants." Jeremy explained.

" Oh. " Michelle looked down at the rainbow rug for a moment. " My dad always loses his socks in the dryer and Mommy always gets mad because she has to buy more for him. "

"Did the dryer eat them?" Jeremy giggled.

Michelle giggled along with him. " Probably. "

"Poor socks." Jeremy remarked.

" Does your dryer eat your dad's pants? " Michelle asked.

"Probably. I'll ask my dad." Jeremy shrugged.

Michelle giggled a little loudly for the teacher to look over at them. But she didn't care.

"The dryer eats my mom's bras." Rich leans in.

" What's a 'bra'? " Michelle asked Rich, but the teacher intervened.

" oKAY THEN. Children, how about we all divide into different tables? "

All the girls ran over to a table and all the boys went to another, including Jeremy. Leaving Michelle alone on the rug.

" Jeremy? " Michelle looked towards him like she was asking if she could sit with him.

"Ew she's got cooties!" Rich shrieked. Jeremy bites his lip.

" Rich stop being a dick. " She said with confidence.

" miCHELLE WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT WORD? " The teacher screamed.

" I hear Mommy yelling it to people who don't move their cars. " Michelle said innocently.

"Dick. Dick dick dick dick dick." Rich grinned.

" See! Rich says it too! " Michelle pointed out.

" Please don't say that word anymore either of you. It's b a d word. " The teacher told them.

"I have a friend named Dick can I say his name?" Jeremy tilted his head.

" That's different. That's his name, Jeremy. " The teacher tried not to act the stress she held inside.

" So, are all the people in the cars name's Dick? " Michelle asked.

"That's weird." Rich laughed.

" Yeah. But that means my Mommy must know a lot of people. " Michelle smiled brightly.

" Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. " The teacher cut in.

"You still can't play with us." Rich stuck his tongue out.

" yOU DICK " Michelle screeched at the top of her lungs.

"Go play with the girls. Dick." Rich put his hands on his hips.

" But she has a vagina! " Jenna called out, correcting Rich

"Ew." Jeremy trailed off.

" Don't ' Ew ' at me you bitch " Michelle stuck out her tongue at Jeremy.

"What's a bitch?" Rich asked loudly.

" Probably someone else's name. " Michelle shrugged.

"Now go play with the girls." Rich turned away from Michelle.

" You fucking dick little piece of shit pussy ass hoe dick bitCH " Michelle yelled at Rich.

The teacher just called up the principal.

A few minutes passed and the principal walked in, turning to Michelle.

" The fuck do you want you piece of shit " Michelle looked back to the principal.

"Alright missy you're coming with me." The principal dragged Michelle out of the classroom.

" nO LET GO OF ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT PUSSY ASS BITCH YOU LITTLE RAT LET ME FUCKIN GO DAMMIT I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR LEGS IF I FUCKIN' HAVE TO. "


	2. Chapter Two // First Grade

"So how was your summer?" Jeremy sat in the grass at recess with Michelle.

" My parents sent me to a camp over the summer for my ' language ' " Michelle rolled her eyes but smiled at Jeremy nonetheless.

"Oh." Jeremy laughed.

" Anyways, how about your summer? " Michelle asked Jeremy.

"It was really fun-" Jeremy was cut off by Jenna.

" Oh- Oh, hey Jenna. " Michelle looked up to Jenna with a small smile.

" Hey there Four-Eyes. " Jenna snickered.

" Wha- "

Jenna took Michelle's glasses from her face and dashed off to the group of girls who laughed when she arrived.

" I cAN'T SEE ANYTHING "

"Don't worry!" Jeremy grinned, "I'll get your glasses!" He ran off.

Jake saw Jeremy running across the field towards the girls. He smiled and chased up to Jeremy and stuck his leg out in front of his path.

Jeremy landed face first in the grass, trying not to cry in front of Jake.

Jake moved off back to the group of boys so the teacher wouldn't see him and laughed with them.

" Hey! " Michelle yelled and rushed over to Jeremy, but she tripped over his currently non-visible leg to her and fell half on top of him and half on the grass.

"Ow!" Jeremy shrieked.

"Jeremy? I'm sorry! I can't see really anything. " Michelle quickly apologized to Jeremy as she tried to sit up.

Jeremy helped her sit, getting up and racing over to the girls.

" Huh? Jeremy? " Michelle asked, not knowing where she went.

Jenna looked at Jeremy as he arrived. She smirked and took the glasses in her hands. She slowly hands them over to him but before she does she snaps them right in half and leaves it in Jeremy's hands.

Jeremy glared at Jenna, "Pardon my language. But go die bitch." He walked away.

Jenna scoffed. The girls then all whispered to her and Jenna ran up to the teacher with fake tears. " Teacherr! Jeremy said a bad word!! " She cried.

Jeremy ignored her, walking over to Michelle, "She broke your glasses."

Michelle reached out blindly and grabbed the pieces of the glasses. She took one of them and took it up to her face so she could see. " This works though. That frick. " Michelle glared over at Jenna who was still wailing to the teacher.

"She is a frick." Jeremy nodded in agreement.

" Jeremy Heere. " The teacher calls out to Jeremy.

" Heere? " Michelle giggled a little.

Jeremy walked over shamefully to the teacher, "Yes Ma'am?"

Once Jeremy was gone Michelle giggled more to herself over Jeremy's last name.

" So, Jenna Roland told me- "

>>

Michelle met up with Jeremy at lunch after he was let go from the teacher and sat down with him. " So? What happened with the teacher? " She asked Jeremy.

"I had to write 'I will not swear.' One hundred times." Jeremy sighed, opening his sack lunch.

" Tough luck. " Michelle giggled and opened the chopsticks and just stabbed one in the sushi roll.

"What do you have for lunch?" Jeremy asked curiously.

" Some maki-maki sushi roll. I don't know how to use the chopsticks though." Michelle shrugged and picked up the stick. She went to eat the food but it bumped into her tooth. She felt something pop out of place from her teeth and immediately panicked. She tested it and screeched. " i'M BLEEDING "

"Oh! Here's a napkin!" Jeremy hands her the napkin.

Michelle took the napkin and pressed it against the now empty spot in her row of teeth. She spat out the tooth from her mouth into her hand and screamed more when she saw her tooth in her hand.

"Your tooth fell out!" Jeremy laughed.

" iS THIS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?? " Michelle asked him in a panicked voice

"Yeah!" Jeremy nodded.

" Oh thank Goodness. " Michelle said, relaxing a little. " But I think I should probably tell a teacher. "

"What are you going to do with it?" Jeremy asked curiously.

" Throw it away. " Michelle shrugged.

"But what about the tooth fairy?" Jeremy gasped.

" The what? I only know Jesus Christ " Michelle asked him.

"Oh." Jeremy, bit his lip.

" Anyways, I don't think I'll eat this anymore. There is kinda blood in it. " Michelle said and pushed away the tray.

"Oh gross." Jeremy glanced at the sushi.

" I'm gonna go throw it away, be right back! " Michelle chirped and took her tray and tooth to the trashcan.

Jeremy watches Michelle, resting his chin in hands, blushing slightly.

Michelle dumps it in the trash and headed back to Jeremy. " C'mon, let's head out to recess Jer! " She took his arm.

Jeremy stood up stumbling after Michelle.

" Whaddya wanna do today? I just learned how to make flower crowns and I wanna try it out on you. " She smiled brightly at Jeremy.

"Okay." Jeremy shrugged.

" Yay! I bet it will look adorable on you. " Michelle led Jeremy over to the flowery patch of grass.

Jeremy smiled goofily, following Michelle, "You think so?"

" Of course! Now sit. " Michelle directed as she sat down too and began to picked out a few flowers from the grass.

Jeremy sat next to her, picking at grass.

Michelle concentrated on weaving the small stems together and held it up to Jeremy's face a few times to check the size, giggling a bit.

Jeremy watched her, tying pieces of grass together.

Jenna spotted the pair of friends sitting across from each other under the willow tree. She strolled over to them with Brooke and Chloe following.

"What are we doing Jenna?" Brooke asked.

" This. " Jenna said simply and took the flower crown from Michelle's hands and before she could react, she ripped it up and let the pieces fall to the floor.

"Hey!" Jeremy snapped.

Jenna laughed as Michelle stared at the pieces and small droplets prickled at the corners of her eyes.

"That wasn't very nice!" Jeremy hugged Michelle.

Jenna rolled her eyes and scoffed. " Exactly. " And she turned away with the girls on her trail.

Michelle hugged Jeremy back a little and sniffled. " I-It's okay Jer. "

"They're just jerks." Jeremy rubbed her back.

" I-I know.. " Michelle took off her glasses and set them on the grass and rubbed her eyes. " B-But it's fine, I can just s-start over. "

"I made you a grass necklace." Jeremy handed her the necklace.

Michelle smiled at the necklace and thanked Jeremy, taking it from him. " I love it! "

"Oh! You're welcome!" Jeremy grinned.

The school bell rang, signaling the lunch recess' end.

Michelle frowned a little but brightened up a little. " Aw. I guess I'll just make a new one tomorrow. "

"Good idea!" Jeremy stood up.

" I'll see you after school then! Bye Jer! " Michelle waved and raced over back to her class line.

"Bye Michelle!" Jeremy ran to his line.


	3. Chapter Three // Sixth Grade

"I got a new video game for my birthday but it's a two player game and I don't have many friends." Jeremy opened his locker.

" I'll play with you if you want. " Michelle told Jeremy as she waited for him to get his stuff out.

"You will?" Jeremy looked at her surprised.

" Of course, I barely ever got to in elementary school anyways. " Michelle pointed out to him.

"Okay! You can come over after school." Jeremy grins, grabbing his books.

" Mkay, I'll meet you in front of the school then? " Michelle asked, closing his locker for him.

"Alright. I'm excited." Jeremy grins.

Michelle smiled back. " I'll see you in math then, later Jer. " She waved to him and walked past to class.

>>>

Jeremy ran a hand through his hair, walking into math class, looking for Michelle.

Michelle arrived to the class just as the bell had rang and looked at the teacher to confirm she wasn't late. She looked at Jeremy and sat down next to him. " Hey. "

"Hey Michelle." Jeremy pulled out his pencil.

" What'd I miss since I was late? " Michelle asked, also pulling out a pencil as the teacher rambled.

"Not much. What were you doing anyway? On your period?" Jeremy nudged Michelle.

Michelle laughed softly and rolled her eyes. " ' I was having my period ' " She mocks a girly girl voice.

"Oh-Em-Gee." Jeremy smirked.

" It was like, so gross. " Michelle flicked her hand back slightly.

"Ugh. TMI." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

" Also, OMG did you hear? I caught Chuck Testa talking to Scumbag Steve. Like ew. " Michelle giggled a little bit, trying to keep in character.

"Nice outdated memes." Jeremy slugged her slightly.

" Shut up. " Michelle hit his arm back softly.

"Those were popular two months ago." Jeremy punched Michelle again.

" Leave me and my memes alone " Michelle kept hitting his arm back, laughing quietly.

"Get with the trends Michelle!" Jeremy grinned.

" I'm trying my hardest here, Jer. " Michelle rubbed her arm gently.

"Hitting a girl hmm Heere?" Rich turned around in his desk.

" Pfft. Barely. " Michelle laughed.

"Are you saying I punch like a girl?" Jeremy bit his lip.

" Am I? " Michelle raised an eyebrow with a smile on her face.

"Are you?" Jeremy mocked.

" Maybe I am, Maybe I'm not. You'll never know " Michelle giggled and booped Jeremy's nose.

"Jerk." Jeremy slugged her.

" Sure, but you love me. " Michelle stuck her tongue out at Jeremy.

"Sure." Jeremy, pushes Michelle slightly away.

Michelle giggled. " I know you do. " She poked Jeremy's arm.

"You're my friend nothing more." Jeremy grinned.

" I didn't mean it like that, but " Michelle winked as she sang out the ' but ' a little bit. Of course only poking fun at Jeremy.

"Jeremy has a crush!" Rich screeched.

" WHAT? " Jenna screamed back and looked over at Jeremy.

"YEAH!" Rich grinned, "It's Michelle."

" WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT FROM " Michelle asked Rich with a red face.

" IM TELLING CHLOE. " Jenna yelled.

"I don't like her!" Jeremy slouched in his seat.

" Jesus can this class just end already.. " Michelle mumbled to herself as she looked off at the floor away from Jeremy.

"Can someone end me?" Jeremy added.

" Same thoughts here, Jer. " Michelle's face slowly started to fade out from red.

"Quick come up with a ship name Jenna!" Brooke grinned.

" Uhh- " Jenna thought for a second and then smirked at the two. " Meremy. "

"Jenna no." Jeremy bit his lip.

" Jenna yes. " Jenna laughed.

Jeremy hid his face in his hands sighing.

" Can I just disappear already? " Michelle asked mostly to herself but still out loud.

"Shut the fuck up Jenna." Jeremy put an arm around Michelle trying to comfort her.

Jenna screeched at the two and pulled out her windows phone to snap a picture of the two together and looked to Brooke.

Michelle tried to hide her face by leaning into his arm. " T-Thanks Jer. "

"It's alright...." Jeremy rubbed her back.

The bell finally rang for the period to end. Michelle looked up and saw the rest of the class getting up.

>>>>>>>>

"This level is impossible! We've been stuck on it for two months now!" Jeremy sighed, glaring at the screen.

" This is Level One, Jer. Also, can we pause for a moment? I kinda need to tell you something. " Michelle looked down at her controller.

"Yeah what's up?" Jeremy paused the game, setting down his controller.

She reached down and placed hers next to Jeremy's. " I've - uh, been thinking about things a lot lately and I wanted to finally tell you.. "

"What's up Michelle?" Jeremy turned to her.

"I'vebeenquestioningmygenderalotlatelyandthemorethatIthinkaboutitIkindafeellikeaboyandohgodIdontknowhowtotellyouthisyouprobablyhatemenowohno-" They forced out, but it had come out rushed.

"Say what now?" Jeremy looked at them.

" Oh god no I should've never told you I'm so sorry Jer, I- " They panicked from the reaction, thinking he understood what they said.

"Tell me what? I caught. None of that." Jeremy laughed softly.

" I-I uh.. I've been thinking a lot recently. And well, I've been kinda questioning my gender for a while now and I've talked to my mother about this as well first. I- " Michelle paused for a second. " I don't feel comfortable as a girl anymore. I feel like a boy. Just please - uh- don't hate me for this. "

Jeremy bit his lip, quickly hugging Michelle, "That changes nothing. You're still my best friend."

" T-Thank you, Jeremy. " Michelle hugged him back with a sniffle, but pulled back and wiped her face from tears.

" You can call me Michael. "


	4. Chapter Four // Seventh Grade

"Have you seen Michelle at all? Did she transfer?" Brooke asked Jenna.

" I don't know. She hasn't posted anything at all for a while. " Jenna shrugged, looking around the hall for a possible answer.

Jeremy walked down the hall, looking around for his friend.

He stood at his locker and put in some random shit he didn't need. ' Cmon. Nobody knows you anymore. You can do this ' He told himself

"Who is he?" Brooke leaned in towards Jenna, eyeing to boy.

Jenna followed Brooke's line of sight to see the boy in the red hoodie. " I don't know. Probably a transfer or something. "

"It looks like Jeremy's going to talk to him... Do I know him? He looks familiar." Brooke tilted her head.

" Ugh, Brooke, you know a lot of guys. "Jenna rolled her eyes

He looked over to see Jeremy and mentally calmed himself down. " Oh, hey Jer! " He waved at him with a smile

"Hey Michael." Jeremy put his hands in his pockets, "Hey, do you wanna come over after classes?"

" Sure thing. Still can't believe we finally got past Level One though. " Michael grinned and shut his locker.

" Did you pick up a name at all Brooke? " Jenna asked her since Jeremy and the boy were talking.

"Michael I think." Brooke glanced over at the two, "I swear I know him..."

"Level two's gonna be harder I bet..." Jeremy trailed off, "You better keep focused this time."

" Hmm. Don't remember anyone like that. But I can totally see the hearts in his eyes already. " Jenna snickered.

" That was one time dammit, one time. " Michael defended himself and crossed his arms, looking up at Jeremy

"Two." Jeremy nudged Michael, "It was two times." He grinned.

"So Is Jeremy gay or bi?" Brooke raised an eyebrow.

" Who was counting? " Michael smirked at him with a small nudge, raising an eyebrow.

" Well, he was honestly pretty touchy with Michelle there. But we'll just have to find out with this new Michael " Jenna concludes

"Maybe I was." Jeremy slugged Michael, laughing.

"They seem close though. Did they meet over the summer? Jeremy never goes anywhere though. He's always at home." Brooke noted.

Michael chuckled. " You dork. " He teased Jeremy.

" You never know. Maybe he's another geek nerd type person. " Jenna suggested. She then another new face in 7th Grade, but this time a girl. " She's new. " She pointed her out

"That's Christine Canigula. She's a transfer." Brooke remarked.

Jeremy glanced at the girl, smiling slightly and turning back to Michael.

" Another one? How do you manage to know her but not him? " Jenna asked Brooke.

Michael looked at Jeremy and followed where he was looking. He frowned slightly but covered it up. " You know her? " He asked curiously

"No but she's really pretty..." Jeremy smiled stupidly.

"I saw her when I first got to school." Brooke explained.

" Right...Yeah.. " Michael glanced off for a second at the ground but cleared his head. " Anyways- "

" I see. Anyways, class starts in a few minutes so let's go. " Jenna informed Brooke

Brooke nodded, walking off.

"Hmm?" Jeremy turned his gaze from Christine.

" Uhh, I said that class was gonna start soon, you should head to homeroom before you're late. " Michael tried to cover himself up.

"Oh. Okay..." Jeremy smiled, biting his lip, "You sure that was all?"

" I'm sure. Just, don't be late to class cause of me Jer. " Michael gave him a fake smile to assure him

"Alright. See you." Jeremy hugged Michael slightly, hurrying off.

>>>

Michael rushed into the history classroom he shared with Jeremy and took a spot near the back. He had learned from last year it wasn't exactly the best to be late

Jeremy walked in a few minutes later, smiling at Michael and taking seat next to him.

" Hey Jer. " Michael greeted, trying to stay at least a little quiet.

"That girl's in a few of my classes. Her name is Christine." Jeremy dazed off, smiling.

Ouch. Not even hi. " Really? Have you tried talking to her at all? " Old Michael would be ecstatic and set them up right then and there.

"No.... I don't want her to hate me." Jeremy frowned.

" Why would she? You're amazing, and not to mention when you sometimes blush or stutter it looks pretty damn adorable " Michael told Jeremy. oh god just shut up already

"I'm annoying and awkward. Not to mention I can't hold a conversation and my stuttering is awful." Jeremy put his head on the desk.

Michael rubbed Jeremy's back comfortingly with a small smile. " I might be speaking for myself here but I think that it's pretty cute. "

"She is!" Jeremy grinned, messing with his shirt.

The teacher fake coughed to catch their attention back to the front of the class. " Sorry Jer, we'll talk more after school? "

"Alright." Jeremy nodded, biting his lip as he rested his chin in his hands.

>>>

Michael finally arrived back to his locker and opened it, taking a few things out of it. " Just be chill about it. " He told himself quietly

"Hey Michael!" Jeremy walked up, leaning against the locker next to Michael's.

" Hey Jer. Anything else new that happened yet? " Michael looked up and asked with a soft smile on his face.

"No. Not really." Jeremy shrugged, smiling.

" Okay, wanna come over to my place and play some games or watch a movie or something? " Michael suggested.

"Yeah sure. Any movie in mind?" Jeremy fixed his backpack straps.

" Fast Five? I may have it downloaded illegally. " Michael suggested, closing his locker and facing Jeremy.

"Oh hell yes!" Jeremy grinned.

" Then, what are we waiting for? Let's go! " Michael took Jeremy's hand and led him out the school.

Jeremy tripped after him, smiling widely.

>>>

Michael pulled out his house key from his pocket and unlocked the door, opening it widely for Jeremy. " Ladies first. " He bowed.

"Thanks." Jeremy curtsied, walking inside.

Michael laughed a little before following in and closing the door. " You can head upstairs to my room, I'll grab a few drinks and chips and meet you there. "

Jeremy nodded, racing upstairs to Michael's room, flopping onto the bed.

Michael quickly rummaged through the kitchen and grabbed a few things before quickly going up the stairs into his room.

"So illegally huh?" Jeremy smirked at Michael.

" You really think I would spend money to buy it? " Michael stuck out his tongue at him before flopping onto his bed next to Jeremy.

"You could have asked your mom to buy it." Jeremy remarked.

" Meh. It's whatever. Now shut up and let's watch the movie. " Michael placed a finger over Jeremy's lips and turned to his laptop.

Jeremy licked Michael's finger, leaning back on the bed.

Michael turned around at the wet feeling and glared at him. " You're disgusting. " He wiped his hand off on Jeremy's face.

"So?" Jeremy shrugged, winking at him.

Michael turned back around to his laptop with a small blush and searched in his files for the movie before leaning back into the pillows.

Jeremy rested his head on Michael's shoulder, glancing at the laptop screen, he tried to focus on the movie but couldn't get his mind off Christine.

Michael laid his head on top of Jeremy's and watched the movie with a small smile on his face.

"You're my best friend, Michael." Jeremy remarked quietly.

That's the second time today. Michael thought of what to say for a moment. " Same to you, Jeremy. " He mumbled to him, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Is something wrong Mikey?" Jeremy glanced at him, biting his lip.

" No, nothing. Why? " Michael didn't bother to look at him as he stared ahead.

"You sounded sad just now..." Jeremy trailed off.

" No, I'm perfectly fine. " Michael lied and moved off of Jeremy a bit.

"I'm always here if you need to talk... You know that right? I'll listen..." Jeremy hugged Michael slightly.

I can't tell you this though. " Yeah, I know Jer. " Michael looked down at his lap as he let Jeremy hug him.

"So what's wrong?" Jeremy softly asked.

Michael took in a small breath and paused the movie. He sat up and looked down to Jeremy. " I-I'm gay- I - um "

"So? That's no big deal, I'll still be here for you." Jeremy smiled.

" Oh thank god " Michael hugged him, a grin on his face.

"It's the same as when you came out as the T word. It doesn't change how I view you." Jeremy hugged back tightly.

" Thank you so much, Jeremy. W-We should probably get back to the movie anyways.. " Michael reaches out to continue the movie.

Jeremy's phone went off, he pulled it out and read the message, "Shoot. My mom wants me home."

" It's okay, I'll see you tomorrow at school then? " Michael asked, shutting his laptop.

"See ya." Jeremy walked out, his mom walking in a few minutes later and leaning against the door.

Michael sighed and fixed his blankets before turning to his mom. " I have no idea what to do. "

"I don't know what to tell you sweetie..." His mom trailed off, "Oh is that a curse word?"

" No mom. And it's just that now I really like Jeremy but he doesn't like me back because now he likes this girl at school named ' Christinee ' and I don't know what to do anymore. " Michael sighed and fell back on his bed.

"So you like your straight best friend huh?" She sat on the edge of the bed.

" Apparently so. Ever since he just saw her he wouldn't stop talking about her. " Michael looked to his mom.

"I would say tell him. But if he's not gay... That's tricky..." She sighed softly.

" I know, I know. I guess I'll just deal with it until it goes away. That seems like my only choice. " Michael huffed.

"I'm so sorry..." His mom placed a hand on his knee.

" Maybe I'll get lucky and end up crushing on some actual gay guy. " Michael buried his face in his pillow.

"He could turn out bisexual and he just doesn't know it yet."

" I doubt it. "


	5. Chapter Five // Tenth Grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Transphobia  
> *Self-Harm

" Or you'll do what? " Michael asked, still standing stiffly in front of the door.

Jeremy glared at him, balling his hands into fists, "Get out of my way." He hissed.

"Tranny."

Michael stared up at him with shock and tears in his eyes. He breathed in and moved out of the way.

Jeremy stormed out, slamming the bathroom door in Michael's face.

Michael stared at the door as tears spilled out of his eyes.

Someone banged on the door, "Hello? Some of us have to pee!"

Michael panicked. He raised his voice to a higher pitch and said, " I'm having my period! "

"Uh. Take your time honey!" The voice called back, now all Michael could hear was the music playing on the other side of the door and his own sobs.

Michael looked around the bathroom for a moment before going to sit on the toilet. Just calm down. This could possibly be worse. Somehow. Like, you could be-um..

God, everything was so much easier before that pill. Squid? When he was my friend.

Jeremy was everything Michael ever needed. He didn't remember when he was like this. Alone.

It's fine. This party can't go on for that long, right? It'll only feel like a few a minutes before it's over. Michael wiped his eyes. Yeah right. This is a teenager party.

There was knocking at the door.

Michael looked up at the noise. " Oh god no.. " He mumbled.

They fidget with the door handle.

" Aw hell yeah! I'll be out soon! " Michael called out nervously.

The knocking seemed to turn to banging.

" What do they want dammit? " Michael hissed quietly to himself.

More banging. It seemed louder in Michael's head.

It felt like the walls were starting to close in on him in this tiny bathroom. He shakily stood up and moved over to the sink. He clutched it and let the tears fall.

Someone kicked the door, most likely out of drunk rage.

Michael filled his cupped hands with water after taking off his glasses and splashed his face. All the sounds seemed to fade off.

As he went to open the door he couldn't hear anymore knocking.

He retracts from the door and goes back to pacing around the bathroom. The sounds went away but thoughts filled his head instead.

It was silent. But his head was screaming.

What's the point anymore? Jeremy hates me. Not like anyone else will ever bother to talk to me. I'm just a loser. Michael tried to get rid of the thoughts in his head, but he couldn't.

Just a " tranny " like he said.

Michael was nothing without Jeremy. And he knew that very well. He bet no one would even bother to notice that he didn't exist anymore.

No one cares anyway... Not even Jeremy.

Michael looked around the room once for anything that would help his thoughts. But there was nothing.

And then he began to cough as something gray started to seep into the bathroom from the cracks that caused him to cough intensely.

Smoke? What the hell is going on out there? An inside bonfire? A fucking satanic ritual?

Michael went to open the door but found it boiling hot and retracted his hand quickly. The fuck is this? He held his hand against his shirt as he looked for a way out.

The window...

He debated it for a moment before deciding it was his only way out. He carefully opened it with his non-seared hand and looked at the smoke that was engulfing the home.

>>>>>>

"Don't ever let me listen to Rich ever again. Alright?" Jeremy closed his locker.

Michael smiled down at his locker and stared at his bandaged hand. " Alright. "

"Thanks for helping me Michael. And about the party... And the things I said..." Jeremy trailed off, biting his lip.

" Like I've said, it's completely fine. I know you were under influence of.. him. " Michael looked to Jeremy, careful of mentioning the Squip.

"I just know how much that word hurts you..." Jeremy sighed.

" It does.. but I got past it, so you can too Jer. " Michael shut his locker and turned to Jeremy.

"Alright. Thank you Michael." Jeremy nodded.

" It's no problem Jeremy. But we should probably head off before the bell rings. " Michael reminded him, looking at the time.


	6. Chapter Six // Eleventh Grade

Jenna dragged Rich aside from his friend group. " Okay. You said you had some dirt on someone? Like? " She questioned him immediately.

"Oh yeah. Like Michael Mell." Rich grinned.

" Really? Tell me and I'll give you fifty. " Jenna looked to him as she pulled the money from her purse.

"Hundred. I know you're rich Jenna." Rich scoffed.

" Fine fine. Just spill it already. " Jenna rolled her eyes.

"Well. I heard that Michael was Michelle. If you catch my drift." Rich leaned in.

" He's a tranny? " Jenna gasped quietly.

"It's a rumor. Jeremy would know." Rich shrugged, taking the money and walking away.

" Goddammit. " Jenna hissed and walked to homeroom, the only class she had with Jeremy.

Jeremy was sitting at his desk, glancing at his phone, most likely texting Michael. Seeing as he was Jeremy's only friend.

Jenna walked up to Jeremy's spot and slammed her hand on his desk.

Jeremy sighed. "What do you want Jenna?"

" A little birdie told me that you know something about ' Michael ' that we all don't. " Jenna smirked.

"Well he is my best friend..." Jeremy muttered, biting his lip.

" But was he always a he? " Jenna leaned in closer.

"Yeah... He has." Jeremy moved away from Jenna.

" Are you sure he wasn't ever a she though? " Jenna interrogated Jeremy further.

"I'm sure..." Jeremy frowned.

" You don't sound too sure. Do you think this- " Jenna pulled out a large wad of cash from her purse. " -Won't change your words? "

"I'm not selling out my friend for something that isn't true!" Jeremy pushed the money away.

" Really? Because I just need you to confirm that Michelle is a tranny. And I have proof. " Jenna beckoned the money towards him.

"Michelle? What kind of name is that? Where'd you come up with that?" Jeremy laughed, trying to hide his nervousness.

" I didn't come up with it. In fact, it's written down on ' his ' birth certificate. " Jenna snickered a little.

"The name on his birth certificate is Michael, dumbass." Jeremy snapped.

" What about him going into the private private locker room before P.E? " Jenna asked him.

"He's got a skin rash." Jeremy improvised.

" Mhmm. " Jenna quirked an eyebrow.

"Sorry. But whatever you've heard isn't true." Jeremy waved a hand dismissively.

" Then why did Michelle ' disappear ' in 7th Grade? And how were you so close to Michael when school started? Like you were friends since you were little kids. " Jenna further asked him.

"Michelle moved to Sherwood, Ohio over the summer and Michael showed up a few weeks after she moved." Jeremy explained.

" Yeah, Yeah. Right. But I know what you're hiding from me. It wouldn't hurt to just tell me. Think of what you could buy with this. " Jenna raised the thick wad of cash.

Jeremy reached out to the cash but pulled his hand back quickly.

" You know you want it. Just spit it out already. " Jenna ushered.

Jeremy looked at his feet, muttering something directed at Jenna.

" Hm? What was that? " Jenna asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"He's trans." Jeremy immediately covered his mouth.

" That's all you needed to say. Heere, take it. " Jenna threw the money at him before rushing off with a smile on her face.

Jeremy rested his head on the desk. He fucked up.

>>>

Jenna led Brooke into the private locker room without drawing attention. " Don't ask, just stay quiet. " Jenna hissed at her as she looked for a place to hide.

"What are we doing?" Brooke folded her arms.

" Ugh. Rich and Jeremy told me that Michael was trans, so I want to get this on camera. " Jenna explained.

"Isn't this a little harsh Jenna?" Brooke asked hiding in the closet, gesturing for Jenna to follow.

Jenna followed her in and closed the closet door with a small crack left. " This is what she gets for coming to this school. "

"What did she do anyway to piss you off?" Brooke glanced at Jenna in the darkness.

" She's obviously just doing it for the attention when someone ' finds out ' " Jenna rolled her eyes. " Attention whore. "

"She is." Brooke nodded.

Jenna was about to speak when the door to the locker room opened up and Michael had walked into it, sighing softly.

"Shh." Brooke pulled out her phone.

Jenna rolled her eyes.

Michael opened up one and swiftly lifted his sweatshirt off. He tossed it in and then the tank top.

What was left exposed was tightly wrapped bandages around his chest and bruises that peeked out under them.

Brooke cringed, glancing at the dark purple and green bruises.

Michael rolled off the bandages from his chest and looked at the new formed bruises. " Gotta stop fuckin' using these.. " He mumbled to himself as he went to grab his shirt.

Brooke snapped a few pictures, grinning.

He went to go grab a towel from the small closet at the end of the room. He reached out and opened it.

Brooke looked at Jenna, a panicked look on her face.

" What are those bruises tranny? Your mental illness fuck you up in the head? You should probably head back to the girls' locker room by now. " Jenna started going off at him.

Michael stared in shock of the girls and is quick to cover up his chest. " W-What the hell are you doing in here, Jenna? " He asked, trying to not let the words being thrown at him sink in yet.

" What am I doing here? Well your ' best buddy ' Jeremy recently told me that you were a tranny. Just wanted to confirm. "

"Totally loyal friend huh?" Brooke grinned.

" Definitely. Now get out of my face you disgusting person. " Jenna spat at him and shoved him slightly backwards.

Michael stumbled and balanced himself on a locker.

" How could you even think Jeremy would be your friend? No one would ever want to even talk to someone like you. " Jenna kept pushing him over and over again, once purposely hitting him directly in his chest.

" I'm surprised you aren't dead yet. If I were you I would've killed myself for being as fucked up as you are. " Jenna kept going on.

Until she left him lying on the locker room ground.

Brooke smirked, unclasping his bra.

Michael was too worn out to put up a fight at this point. He just let them do as they wanted.

"Take pictures of this fucking attention whore will you Jenna?" Brooke laughed.

Jenna pulled out her phone and snapped a few quick pictures of the girl on the floor. " Got them. Let's go already. Can't stand being in the same room as her. "

Brooke nodded walking out with Jenna.

"You ready Mich-" Jeremy glanced up, "What the fuck were you doing in there?!"

" Just taking care of your sweet girlfriend in there. Buh bye. " Jenna hummed and dragged Brooke along with her.

"Michael?! Michael!" Jeremy raced into the room frantically, biting his lip.

Michael let a few tears fall and rubbed his arm, slouching up against the lockers before he noticed Jeremy. " Oh. It's you. "

"Michael are you okay-" Jeremy went to hug him.

Michael pushed away Jeremy. " Am I okay? Am I fucking okay? After you told those two about me? And they came to fucking beat me up? Who the hell are you to ask that I'm okay? "

"Michael. It was stupid I know... I'm sorry..." Jeremy trailed off.

" You should know! That was Jenna Roland and Brooke Lohst you told! Why the hell did you even do that anyways. " Michael yelled at him.

"Jenna forced me to tell her... She wouldn't leave me alone..." Jeremy sighed.

" Did she really? Did she fucking really? I don't believe you. Just, get out of my sight already. " Michael glared harshly at him.

Jeremy walked out slowly, looking down at his feet.

Michael looked up at Jeremy and quickly noticed some green stuff in his pocket. He focused on it to realize it was money. " She fucking paid you, didn't she? "

"Michael I-" Jeremy turned to Michael.

" She fucking paid you, didn't she Jeremy? " Michael asked once again with a harsh tone.

Jeremy solemnly nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

" You told now quite possibly everyone about me just for cash? What the fuck is wrong with you? "

"I'm sorry. It was really really dumb." Jeremy muttered.

" You fucking think so? " Michael hissed at him. " Just get out of my sight. I don't ever wanna see you again. "

"Michael-" Tears welled up in Jeremy's eyes.

" I said get out. Oh - and take this with you. " Michael grabbed his red sweatshirt and tore off the ' Player 2 ' patch that he had. " I don't want it anymore. "

Jeremy bit his lip, letting a single tear fall down his cheek.

Michael rubbed his eyes before looking back up at the now silent Jeremy. " Why the hell are you crying? You're the one that did this. Hell, you should be happy since you got all that precious cash from it! " He began to yell at Jeremy.

"I'm sorry." Jeremy choked out.

" Sorry isn't fucking enough. Now go make out with that money since it obviously means so much more than me. " Michael turned away from Jeremy.

"I really am." Jeremy whispered.

" Tell that to my goddamn ass. " Michael grumbled as he rubbed his arms.

"Michael..." Jeremy weakly got out.

" Jeremy. " Michael mocked.

Jeremy bit his lip, rushing out, trying not to cry in front of Michael.

Michael stared at the door for a second before getting up and putting on his clothes back on.

He heard his phone go off several times.

Michael weakly stood up, wincing at the small pain it caused and took his phone from the locker. He scrolled through the notifications and saw only Jenna's twitter. Holy fuck. No.

My life is ruined...

He completely shut off his phone and stuffed it in his hoodie pocket. After quickly cleaning up the mess that was made, he exited the bathroom with his hoodie hung over his head.

"Look it's the tranny!" One kid from down the hall called.

Michael didn't bother to look up. He didn't want to show his face as tears began to fall. It was one thing to be in the private locker room and get called that by Brooke and Jenna. But here he was in the school halls with everyone.

"Where are you going Tranny?" Jake walked up to his side.

" Leave me alone please, JakeJake. " Michael mumbled as he tried his best to ignore him.

"You're fucking insane in the head. I don't know why they didn't send you to an insane asylum." Jake scoffed.

Michael continued to walk, " Jake, please- "

"Even better. They should've put you down like the fucking creature you are." Jake shoved Michael.

" Fuckin' hell.. " Michael quietly mumbled to himself as he looked up to Jake, wiping away the tears on his face.

"Even better. Do it yourself. Do us all a favor and kill yourself." Jake grinned, "You're a freak and don't deserve to live."

Michael pushed himself off the floor and rushed out the school doors. He had enough torture for the day.

He just wanted out.

Jake followed him, "I wasn't finished talking whore!"

" Well I fucking am! " Michael finally shouted at him.

"You'll regret ever coming to this school bitch!" Jake snarled.

" Please don't hurt me.. " Michael whimpered softly.

"Why don't you do it yourself." Jake suggested, walking back inside.

Maybe he's right.

 

 

And that's what Michael did that night.


	7. Chapter Seven // Twelfth Grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Self Harm  
> *Suicide Attempt  
> *Transphobia

Jeremy Heere hadn't heard from Michael Mell in a year. And the new school year rolled around and he was alone. All alone. He deserved to be though.

Michael Mell hadn't spoken to Jeremy Heere in a whole year. He had somehow kept himself alive during 11th Grade and here came the last year of High School.

>>>>

Michael got shoved onto the floor by someone, kicking him as they passed by.

He internally winced in pain but he had mostly gotten used to the feel of it by now. He brought himself back up to continue to walk the dangerous halls.

"Butch!" Someone yelled at him.

Michael looked to his locker, knowing it was probably covered in messages. He pulled his headphones on over his ears and played music.

He got a lot of the usual messages on his locker but never this one, at least not all the time, 'Kill yourself.' It said in sharp and plain writing.

Michael sighed as he opened his locker and pulled out a few things.

>>>>

Michael didn't pay attention to the teacher today. He was busy with something else.

He scribbled down as nicely as he could while writing it, so the words would be the last they would hear from him.

The bell rang and Michael saw Jeremy walk into the classroom.

Michael panicked and swung his backpack over his shoulder and left the classroom. Although he left a small something behind.

Jeremy noticed the note on the desk Michael had been sitting at, he picked it up, reading over, his stomach sinking further with every word.

Michael hurriedly headed to the bathroom, the small and sharp razor was in the back pocket of his backpack and was waiting to be used. He opened the bathroom and looked around. Empty. Good.

Jeremy dropped the note, racing out of the class, ignoring the teacher's yelling. He raced around the empty halls frantically. "Michael!" He yelled out.

Michael set his backpack down and took out the new and clean razor examining it for a moment before taking it down to his arms.

And I'm still Michael in the bathroom. All by himself...

He rolled up his sweatshirt sleeves and cut his skin slowly and deeply with the blade.

"Michael! Please! Oh god I'm sorry! This is- This is all my fault!" Jeremy looked in every bathroom but one.

He brought the blade up and watched the blood drip from its clean cut edges and his arm.

"Michael! Michael please! Please... Please..." Jeremy ran to the last bathroom he hadn't checked.

He would usually let it drip before he cleaned it up, but he just let his blood fall and stain his shirt and the floor.

"Michael!" Jeremy cried out, slamming the bathroom door open, "Are you in here- Oh god..." He ran into the bloody scene.

Michael looked up at the sudden burst in and let go of the blade and it flew across the floor. He placed a hand over his arm, but blood seeped through. " W-What are you doing here? "

Jeremy collapsed next to Michael, hugging him tightly, "I'm so- I'm so sorry..." He sobbed.

Michael leaned his head onto Jeremy's shoulder as he cried along with him. His arm still somewhat covered the gash in his arm. You should've never have let him see you like this, you idiot!

"It's gonna be okay..." Jeremy stood up, quickly grabbing a handful of paper towels, rushing back over to Michael.

Michael took the paper towels from Jeremy and tried to cover up the blood from seeping out but it still kept gushing out. He felt like his vision was becoming hazy. " J-Jeremy? "

"Y- Yeah Michael?" Jeremy tried to stop the bleeding, not wanting to lose his friend. Not like this.

" I-I " Michael was at a loss of words as his voice even started to fade out to him, and slowly his vision too. And soon everything went completely black.

"MICHAEL! NO! Nononono...." Jeremy sobbed, wrapping Michael's wrist in the completely soaked paper towels, not knowing what to do.

Jenna walked the halls, she always had gotten out of class whenever. She was startled when she heard a loud yell coming from the farthest bathroom down the hall. She quickly went over and checked the boys' bathroom.

"Michael... I'm so sorry... Please... Just stay awake... Michael..." She heard Jeremy cry.

Jenna swiftly opened the door and looked at the horrific scene that was laid out in front of her.

"Michael..." Jeremy clutched onto his friend, his face pressed into Michael's shoulder.

" Holy shit. " Jenna breathed. Michael was unconscious while being held by Jeremy who was crying and holding scarlet colored paper towels around Michael's wrist.

Jeremy turned around, his eyes red from crying, "Don't just stand there! G- Get help you fucking idiot!"

Jenna nodded and dashed back out of the bathroom, heading straight for the main office in the front of the building.

"Michael... Hold on... Please... You're gonna be okay..." Jeremy listened to Michael's faint breathing.

Jenna opened the Teachers' Lounge and they all stared to her for a second. " Michael Mell- " She panted to them.

"What about him?" One of the teachers walked up to the frantic girl.

" H-He's bleeding i-in the bathroom.. B-Badly. " She tried her best to explain to them.

One teacher grabbed a first aid, "Where's he bleeding from? Do you know how it happened?"

" His wrist.. suicide I think. " Jenna explained to the teacher. " Last bathroom down the hall. "

The teacher ran out of the lounge, running down the halls to the bathroom, opening the door.

Jeremy turned to the noise, still crying.

Jenna followed behind the teacher and saw the same thing as before. Michael breathing barely by now. At least he still was.

The teacher pushed Jeremy to the side, quickly pulling out bandages and cotton balls from the first aid kit. "Call 9-1-1, one of you!"

Jenna took out her phone and pressed the Emergency Call button, dialing 9-1-1 and hitting Call.

"9-1-1. State your emergency."

" Someone here is bleeding out to death. Um- we're at Montgomery High School. " Jenna shakily replied.

"Alright miss. Where are you at in the school?"

" I-If you come in through the right entrance and walk all the way down the hallway, there will - Um - Be a final boys bathroom in the row. In there. "

"Alright? Can you stay on the phone with me? Are they conscious?"

" Okay - I, no. But they're still breathing a little bit. "

"Is there an adult with you?"

" Yes, a t-teacher is here with us. " Jenna tried not to look at Michael.

Jeremy glanced at Michael sobbing quietly, those sobs turn into screams as the teacher begins to perform CPR on Michael.

Jenna becomes more panicked at the action. " I - er, they're doing CPR on him now- "

"Ask the teacher if he's breathing."

Jenna looked up to the teacher and grimaced at Michael. " I-Is he breathing? "

"No." The teacher mumbled nervously, only causing Jeremy to sob louder.

Jenna placed a hand on Jeremy's shoulder. " N-No, he's not breathing. "

The door to the bathroom opened quickly and two medics rushed in with a stretcher.

Jenna dropped her phone to the ground with the person still on the call. " Oh god.. "

"P- Please don't let him die. I- I... I love him... Oh god I love him..." Jeremy's voice cracked.

The teacher helped Michael onto the stretcher.

Three medics surrounded the stretcher, two carrying it and the other doing checkups on Michael. They carried him out of the bathroom.

"M- Michael!" Jeremy raced after them, still crying.

Jenna reached a hand out to stop Jeremy. " J-Jeremy, they have t-to do their job. I-It's better if you don't- "

"I'm getting on that fucking ambulance with him." Jeremy pulled away from Jenna, running after the medics.

The medics lifted him onto the small bed and connected Michael to wires already. One was about to shut the back doors when they noticed Jeremy.

"Wait! Please... H- He's my boyfriend..." Jeremy cried out.

The medic paused. " We can't stall time.. So fine, hurry in. "

Jeremy climbed into the back of the ambulance, standing off to the side.

The medics worked swiftly as one looked at the heart rate monitor. " He's flat-lining! " They yelled out.

Jeremy covered his mouth in attempt to hide his ugly crying.

>>>

Michael was given his own room and he was breathing peacefully. He had flat-lined multiple times the other night and still hadn't woken up for the time being. The scene was completed with Jeremy sitting in a chair next to him.

Jeremy was asleep in the chair, his arms folded and he was leaning slightly onto Michael's leg.

Michael shook his head a little bit with a few murmurs before sitting up and breathed hard. He was met with pain as it had pulled on the wires that were connected to him.

Jeremy stirred slightly, still out like a light.

Michael took a moment to let his surroundings sink into and took it from the bright white all around him with machines, he was in a hospital room.

Jeremy opened his eyes slightly, groaning and sitting up, glancing at Michael, his eyes widening and a bright smile finding its way onto his face, "M- Michael! You're okay!"

" What the hell happened? Is this a dream? " Michael rubbed his head slightly. He couldn't really see much as he didn't have his glasses on. " I can't see fuck. "

"Y- You attempted suicide... Y- You idiot..." Jeremy hugged Michael, grabbing Michael's glasses from his pocket and putting them on Michael for him.

" I did? " Michael paused, recollecting his memory. " Oh yeah. I did. I, um- " Michael looked down at the bed. He tried to kill himself and Jeremy had to save him.

"It was all my fault..." Jeremy trailed off, looking at Michael, tears pricking his eyes.

" No no no no, Jer. No it isn't. Please don't cry- " Michael panicked and reached out to him, but he couldn't reach with everything attached to him.

Jeremy grabbed onto Michael's hand, "It is... If hadn't told Jenna... About you..." He sobbed out.

Michael squeezed Jeremy's hand. " Jer. Everything is okay. Don't feel bad, please. I'm the one that tried to... "

"It wouldn't have happened if people didn't know you were... That word... And bullied you to that point..." Jeremy kissed the back of Michael's hand.

" Can we just drop it Jer? I really don't wanna see you cry.. " Michael laughed nervously and looked away.

"S- Sorry..." Jeremy muttered, squeezing Michael's hand tightly.

" It's okay.. " Michael smiled softly at him with a small blush on his face.

"So you forgive me?" Jeremy glanced at Michael, fixing his slightly tilted glasses.

" You did kinda save my life. " Michael reminded Jeremy with a small chuckle.

"I didn't really. All I did was waste a bunch of paper towels for a useless attempt..." Jeremy laughed.

" Still tried. " Michael ruffled Jeremy's hair slightly with his other hand. " That was almost as bad as when I'm on my period. " He winked at Jeremy with a small laugh.

"Oh gross Michael." Jeremy nudged him slightly.

" Just sayin' " Michael studied Jeremy closely for a moment. " Hey Jer, can you come closer for a second? "

"Umm..." Jeremy leaned hesitantly closer to Michael.

Michael took Jeremy's shirt and pulled him in quickly. He pressed his lips to his softly at first if he was to pull away.

Jeremy gasped slightly into the kiss, slowly kissing back.

Michael felt him kissing back and pressed slightly deeper into it.

Jeremy carefully pulled away, smiling.

Michael looked at Jeremy with a brighter grin. " Holy fuck that was my first kiss. "

"Wait really?" Jeremy snorted.

Michael smiled and nodded. " Yeah. And that was totally worth not kissing anyone for like my whole life. "

"It was really nice." Jeremy admitted softly.

" Would you mind being my second? " Michael asked with a red face.

"Yeah. If you don't mind me calling you my boyfriend." Jeremy kissed Michael again.

Michael kissed him back, he didn't know what to say at this point. The boy that he had liked forever wanted to call him his boyfriend.

Jeremy moved away after a few seconds, "S- So?"

" O-Of course! I mean I have been pining over you for like, ever. " Michael tried not to get too excited in front of his now boyfriend.

"Good." Jeremy smiled, "I love you Michael."

Michael felt his heart flutter at the words Jeremy had just said. " I love you too. " He barely managed to squeak out.

Jeremy hummed contently, glancing around Michael's face.

" So um, do you know when I can leave? " Michael asked. He didn't want to be stuck in the hospital for forever.

"I'm not sure... I'll ask your mom." Jeremy shrugged.

" My mom? She's here? " Michael was shocked his mom was here. How long had he been out?

"I mean. Why wouldn't she be? You-" Jeremy choked on his words, "You tried to take your own life."

" I-It's just. We haven't really spoken much at all, she's been busy with work and all. " Michael trailed off and he stared to the ground.

"That doesn't mean she doesn't love you any less..." Jeremy mumbled.

" I just.. Didn't expect her to be here. At least not yet. " Michael responded, getting quieter slightly.

"You've been here for... Awhile." Jeremy sighed.

" How long? "

"A week."

" Oh shit. " He wasn't expecting it to be that long. It felt like minutes ago when he was in the bathroom.

"You lost a lot of blood Michael..." Jeremy softly muttered.

" I guess I did cut pretty deep with it. " Michael looked at his arm where he put the gash.

Jeremy placed a hand over the bandages, "I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if you had died."

Michael looked up to Jeremy. God, he looked sleep deprived and a whole lot more." Don't make me cry again Jer- "

"Michael. I'm sorry. I am." Jeremy bit his lip.

" Jeremy, you don't have to be. At all. " Michael tried to persuade him.

" I treated you like shit. I sold you out like you weren't worth anything to me. And all for what? Five hundred dollars. You're worth so much more than that. "

Michael looked down at his lap. He had no more words to say argue with. " Thank you. " He barely whispered out.

"For what?" Jeremy wiped away tears that were threatening to fall.

" For everything you've ever done for me. From kindergarten to now. " Michael placed his hands on top of Jeremy's.

"I really care ya know. I really absolutely do." Jeremy smiled.

" I do too. I love you. " Michael blushed slightly.

"I love you too Michael." Jeremy softly smiled.

Michael grinned and kissed Jeremy's cheek softly.

Jeremy touched the spot, a goofy smile forming on his face.

Michael couldn't help but smile back at Jeremy. " You're adorable. "

"And you're cute." Jeremy grinned widely.

Michael stopped and looked down at the bed, the smile on his face faded off.

"Michael? Hey. What's wrong?" Jeremy tilted his head slightly.

Cute. The word just sounded so feminine.

" I-It's nothing.. "

"Oh okay..." Jeremy bit his lip, placing a hand on Michael's.

Oh god. Did Jeremy still think of him like a girl? Did he take part in writing all those messages too?

" Anyways, " Michael put on a coverup smile.

"Anyways?" Jeremy asked softly.

He probably did. He's just doing this to pity you, Michael. His head told him.

" Can you come here? I wanna cuddle. " Michael reached out his arms to him.

"Um... Yeah." Jeremy carefully climbed into the bed, moving close to Michael's side.

Michael looked up to Jeremy and kissed his nose before burying his face in his neck.

"Cute..." Jeremy remarked softly to himself.

Cute.

Michael just made a noise in response and wrapped his arms around his waist. He can't really mean it after everything he's done for me.

Jeremy ran a hand through Michael's hair, pecking his forehead.

Michael smiled softly into his neck before softly kissing it, a small laugh coming out of his mouth.

Jeremy stiffened slightly, "O- Oh."

Michael moved up from his neck and laughed more. " Are you okay? You look a bit red in the face there Jer. "

"Y- Yeah. I just... Erm..." Jeremy turned a dark red.

" Are you sure? " Michael questioned him, letting the teasing go on.

"I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?" Jeremy hid his face in Michael's shoulder.

" Mhmm. " Michael hummed and kissed the top of Jeremy's head.

Jeremy smiled, closing his eyes.

Michael smiled and rested his head against Jeremy's and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Love you." Jeremy muttered.

Michael's face went red. " I-I love you too. " He barely managed to stammer out.

"You seem less confident saying that than the other times." Jeremy noted.

" Y-You just keep catching me off guard with it. " Michael tried to cover up.

"Oh." Jeremy chuckled, resting his head against Michael's shoulder.

Michael smiled down at Jeremy and wrapped an arm around his body while kissing his neck.

Michael's mom then entered the room. " Jeremy is he awake ye- " She began but froze when she looked over at Michael and Jeremy together on the bed.

Jeremy quickly got out of the bed, "Hey.... Ms. Mell.... Would you look at that. He's awake."

Michael sat up in the bed and looked up to his mother with a scarlet face. " Y-Yeah, I am now. "

Ms. Mell looked between the two boys. " That's good. " She paused. " But you two are finally together?! "

"Y-Yeah." Jeremy nodded.

" Really? He's talked about his crush on you since middle school! " Ms. Mell squealed.

" M-Mom! "

"Oh... I uh... Wow Michael... I didn't know you liked me for that long." Jeremy shuffled his feet.

Michael stared down at his hands. " Uh, yeah. I have.. "

Ms. Mell smiled at the two. " Well, I'll leave you to it! " She said and left the hospital room.

"Wow." Jeremy repeated.

" Anyways! Uh- " Michael glanced around nervously.

"Hmm?" Jeremy looked up from his feet.

" Will you come back on the bed with me? " Michael looked up to Jeremy with pleading eyes.

"Of course." Jeremy nodded, climbing back into the bed with Michael, hugging his side.


	8. Chapter Eight // 12.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Transphobia

Michael coughs violently as the person throws one last hit to his throat before letting go, his body falling to the ground. " That's what you get, Michelle. "

Jeremy looked at his feet, unable to speak or even move, his eyes moved to Michael and he stood there, dumbfounded.

Michael coughed more before shakily sitting up from the cement floor. There were various scratches and bruises left on him that added to the previous ones. He looked up at Jeremy.

Jeremy knelt besides Michael, placing a hand on his back, "Michael I-"

" Save it. " Michael said harshly. " You're a Coward. That's all you are. A coward. " He spat. " You promised to protect me. And now look where I am! "

"I didn't- I froze up. I didn't mean to... I was scared Michael. I put myself before you when you needed me most. I'm really sorry."

" Wait. " Michael stared at him. " You're scared? Well hell I don't know if the one getting fucking beaten up isn't more terrified than you! " He yelled to him. " Or do you think I wasn't scared anymore since it had happened so many times? "

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Jeremy hugged Michael, "I promise I won't let that happen again. I. Promise."

" That's what you said last time! " Michael shouted before sighing. He fell back into Jeremy's embrace. " I'm sorry Jer. I'm just sick of this happening. "

"It's alright. Hey. Less than three months and we'll be done with this hell. Remember? Guys like us are cool in college." Jeremy kissed Michael's forehead.

Michael smiled softly. " Hopefully it's better than the hell that is high school. Known for being full of judgemental hormonal teenagers. "

"Exactly. Hey. Wanna head back to my place for pizza and a video game marathon?" Jeremy helped Michael to his feet.

" You know me too well. " Michael chuckled and pressed a short kiss to Jeremy's lips while interlacing their fingers.

Jeremy swung their hands back and forth, smiling brightly.

Michael leaned his head onto Jeremy's shoulder and stared ahead at the road. He was perfectly content now.

"Does it hurt bad?" Jeremy gingerly touched one of the fresh bruises on the side on Michael's face.

Michael winced quietly at the contact. " Yeah, a lot actually. "

"I'm so sorry..." Jeremy hugged Michael's arm, "If I had just-"

" It's fine Jeremy. " Michael assured him. " Plus there wouldn't be much you could do anyways. " He teased with a small wink.

"Hey! There's plenty I could have done!" Jeremy protested.

" Mhmm. Like what? " Michael hummed and looked up to him.

"Well Um- I could... Umm."

" Exactly. But I still love you. " Michael smiled at his boyfriend.

"I love you too." Jeremy shot back a smile.

Michael leaned up and pecked his neck a couple times before burying his head in it.

Jeremy hummed softly, resting his head on top of Michael's head.

>>>>

Michael stares ahead at the T.V. while his fingers quickly and aggressively hit the buttons on controller. He was currently getting annihilated by Jeremy in the game they we playing when something popped into his mind.

Jeremy stuck his tongue out in concentration, furrowing his eyebrows.

Michael began to lean over to Jeremy while still looking straight ahead at the screen. He began to softly kiss Jeremy's neck when he was close enough.

Jeremy bit his lip, trying not to let Michael distract him from winning.

Michael smirked against the skin of Jeremy's neck before deciding to out of nowhere bite down on his neck gently enough.

"M- Michael..." Jeremy gently nudged Michael off.

Michael just moved back in. " Hm Jeremy? Something wrong? " He asked innocently as he smashed a combo of buttons.

"Dammit." Jeremy sighed as Michael won, "Jerk."

Michael cheered and set down his controller. " Oh but you love me. " He teased. Even though the game was over Michael still leaned into Jeremy's neck and kissed it.

"I do..." Jeremy leaned in slightly.

Michael made a humming noise before bit down once again and sucked on the skin.

Jeremy closed his eyes, moving a hand closer to Michael's waist.

Michael leaned back from Jeremy's neck and looked up to him. " How about we play a better game? " He purred while placing a hand on Jeremy's chest.

"What kind of game?" Jeremy smirked, running circles into Michael's lower back with his fingertips.

" You'll see. " Michael leaned in and pressed an at-first soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips while slowly pushing him back down onto the beanbag.

Jeremy placed a hand on Michael's cheek, "You sure?" He softly asked.

" I'm sure. " He replied with the same softness.

"Red, yellow, green. Alright?"

" I know. "

"I just don't want to hurt you." Jeremy kissed Michael's forehead, "I love you."

" I love you too Jer. " Michael closed his eyes for second to take it in. 

 

This could finally be it.

Jeremy smiled slyly, moving his hands to Michael's lower waist, pressing his lips to his neck.

 

>>>

Michael snuggled into Jeremy's chest and closed his eyes.

"That was... Pleasant." Jeremy grinned.

" Yeah, it was. Have I told you how you are such cuddle material you are? " Michael asked Jeremy.

"I don't think you have. But thank you." Jeremy ran a hand lazily up and down Michael's bareback. "But so are you." He added.

" Yeah. But I think you are more. " Michael grinned and buried his face into Jeremy's chest.

Jeremy pulled Michael closer, laughing softly, "Well you're the cuter one." He teased.

" Uh-Huh. " Michael hummed and wrapped an arm around Jeremy's side. " You're warm. "

"And you're cute." Jeremy kissed Michael's forehead.

Michael looked up at Jeremy and placed a small fake smile on his face. " And you're adorable. "

Jeremy studied Michael's face for a minute, "Alright what's with the fake smile?"

" What do you mean? " Michael asked while cocking his head to the side. Shit.

"You always show your teeth when you're faking a smile."

" No I don't. " Michael tried. Just don't stutter.

"Mikey, what's wrong?" Jeremy bit his lip.

" Nothing, you don't have to worry so much about me Jer. " Michael placed a hand on Jeremy's cheek.

"But I need to worry. Because I love you. Now what's wrong?" Jeremy placed a hand over Michael's.

" I told you it's nothing Jeremy. I would tell you if something was wrong. You know that. " Michael looked up to Jeremy.

"But that's not the truth. You've hidden things from me before. I want to be there for you Michael but if you just hide it... I can't." Jeremy pressed a small kiss to Michael's lips before pulling away.

Michael looked down and sighed in defeat. " I'm sorry. I just.. Don't want to talk about right now. Okay? " He said softly, a few small tears falling off his face.

"H- Hey, don't cry... It's okay... I'm sorry I bothered you with it." Jeremy tried to comfort Michael.

Michael wiped his face with the back of his hand. " It's fine.. Just a more sensitive topic for me. " He buried his face into Jeremy's chest once again.

"Oh... Oh." Jeremy bit his lip, that topic.

" Y-Yeah.. " Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Hey Michael?" Jeremy pulled him closer.

" Yeah Jer? " Michael looked up at him.

"You are one hell of a guy."

Michael looked down with a wide blush spread across his face. " J-Jer! "

"And really handsome if we're being honest here." Jeremy added.

" Jeremy I swear to god- " Michael tried not to sound as flustered as he currently was.

"What?! It's true." Jeremy grinned.

" Ugh you're too sweet. " Michael groaned and flopped on his back besides Jeremy on the bed.

"And you're too perfect. So we're even." Jeremy poked Michael's cheek.

Michael leaned over to kiss Jeremy before he heard a creaking noise that made him stop frozen.

"Jeremy I got pizza...." Mr. Heere glanced over at the two, trailing off his words for an extended amount of time.

" Holy fuck Mr. Heere uh- " Michael retracted from Jeremy but glanced over at him nervously.

"Dad!" Jeremy shrieked, his face turning a dark scarlet.

"Pizza's downstairs, um. Use protection." Mr. Heere walked out, quickly shutting the door.

Michael silently screeched. " D-Did your dad j-just tell us t-to ' Use p-protection '?! "

"Apparently." Jeremy hide his face in a pillow.

" J-Jesus Christ. " Michael mumbled and continued to stare at the door.

"Well lucky for us we don't need to because you like it in the as-" Jeremy nudged Michael.

" JEREMIAH! " Michael screamed and shoved him away with a scarlet red face.

"S." Jeremy laughed.

" I'm either going to murder you or fuck you. " Michael said blatantly.

"Not sure I like the first option." Jeremy winked.

" Well I'm not ready for a round two and I'm hungry so get us some clothes. " Michael pushed him slightly off the bed.

"I am not going to without any clothes myself you twunk."

" Take the blanket like a dress or somethin'. " Michael rolled his eyes and tossed the blanket they had at him.

"Fine." Jeremy groaned, wrapping himself in the blanket, glancing over at Michael slightly.

" Keep your eyes on my face Jer. " Michael laughed slightly, catching him.

"Hmm? Oh uh- I um... Er-" Jeremy stuttered.

" Just get going, perv. " Michael winked at him and motioned for him to go out the door.

"Jesus. Fine." Jeremy hurried out of the room and down to the basement to retrieve the clothes, rushing back to his room.

Michael laughed to himself as he repositioned the pillows on the bed and cleared everything else off of it. He had this opportunity and wasn't going to let it pass.

"Got your clothes." Jeremy opened the door.

Michael scurried when he heard the door open to get into the correct pose, holding in his laughter. " You can look but can't touch. "

"Uh.... Nice." Jeremy breathed the last part to himself.

Michael stared at Jeremy for a moment.

Jeremy bit his lip, glancing at Michael. Trying to just look at his face. Key word. Trying.

" I heard that last thing Jeremy. " Michael told him with a small smile on his face.

"I um..." Jeremy looked at the floor. "God just let me touch." He whispered to himself.

Michael smirked and got off the bed, teasingly and slowly walking over to Jeremy. " Okay. " He mumbled and pressed Jeremy back against the door while pressing a kiss to his lips.

Jeremy dropped the clothes along with the blanket, slowly moving his hands to Michael's ass.

Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy's neck and pulled himself closer to Jeremy.

Jeremy pulled away from the kiss, "You never told me what exactly you were hungry for."

" I can go both ways. " Michael purred.

"Well what do you want?" Jeremy grazed a hand across Michael's cheek.

" Pizza. " Michael grinned up at him and booped his nose.

"Wait what?" Jeremy looked at Michael slightly dumbfounded.

" Just kidding. " Michael took the moment of Jeremy just standing there and pulled him back onto the bed.

Jeremy tripped slightly, kneeling at the edge of the bed.

Michael smirked down at Jeremy and grabbed some of Jeremy's hair. " Anyways, "

Jeremy put a hand over Michael's, the other running up and down his side, "Anyways..."

>>>>

Michael carried on a normal conversation with Jeremy until they were in the middle of the hall he decided to say very loudly, " Oh man, that was great last night ".

Pretty much everyone looked at him.

"MICHAEL NO." Jeremy shrieked.

Michael laughed loudly at Jeremy. " That isn't what you told me last night. " He nudged Jeremy.

"MICHAEL MELL SHUT THE FUCK UP." Jeremy put his head down.

" Nope. " Michael smiled and wrapped an arm around Jeremy's shoulder, placing a kiss on the back of his head.

Jeremy scrunched up his shoulders, smiling slightly.

Michael's other hand connected with Jeremy's as he ignored the stares from what he previously said.

"Oh no.." Jeremy mumbled as Jenna approached.

Michael looked up at her with a hard glare. " How can I help you, Jenna? ".

" Wow. I thought you would end up being gay, Jeremy. I didn't know you were into Michelle. " Jenna said with fake shock.

"I'm bisexual. And I'm gay for Michael." Jeremy folded his arms.

" Michael? "

"Um. My boyfriend. Right here." Jeremy gestured to Michael.

Jenna crossed her arms. " You must be going blind Jeremy, that's Michelle. Plus do you even see a di- "

"Oh for the love of god Jenna. Just because he doesn't have a dick doesn't make him any less of a guy." Jeremy frowned.

" This ' Michael ' is still always going to a girl. She's still always Michelle. " Jenna faced Michael with a knowing look.

"Cut it out Jenna. He can be whatever the hell he wants. He could being a fucking furry and I'd still accept him so why can't you? What the hell is your damage Jenna?" Jeremy snapped.

Michael stood in shock for a moment. " Wait- What the fuck Jerem- "

" I can't accept a fucking mental illness. And neither should you. " Jenna rolled her eyes.

"He can't help how he feels, Jenna. Just how you can't keep your heart eyes off Christine." Jeremy smirked.

" I don't know what you're talking about, Heere. " Jenna said sharply.

"Half the school knows Jenna." Jeremy folded his arms.

" Fuck you guys. " Jenna turned on her heel and walked off.

Michael looked at Jeremy and kissed his cheek. " Thanks Jer, but you didn't have to use a furry as an example earlier. "

"It was all I could think of!" Jeremy stammered out quickly.

" Really now? " Michael raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah... Why?" Jeremy glanced at Michael.

Michael smirked at him before beginning to sprint down the hall while he screeched, " JEREMY IS A FURRY! "

>>>>>

Just don't trip and you'll be fine... Jeremy began walking up the steps to retrieve his diploma oh so slowly. And he tripped. And face planted on the stage.

Michael snorted at the sight on the stage before breaking out in full laughter along with the other graduates.

Jeremy clambered to his feet, his face went completely red as he shuffled over to receive the.

Michael found it hard to contain his laughter at his boyfriend before deciding to put it into cheering at him.

Jeremy quickly grabbed his diploma, shaking hands with the principal and racing off the stage, his head down.

Michael watched Jeremy go back to his seat with a wide smile before turning back and paying attention to the front.

Jeremy glared at his dad, moving several seats away seeing as his father wasn't wearing pants. I thought he was over this but noooo.

>>

" Michelle Mell. " The name was announced by the principal.

Michael looked up after a few moments realizing that's what he was put under as a name. Goddammit.

Jeremy glanced over at Michael, flashing a small smile.

Michael sighed and got up out of his seat with many stares following him as he walked up to the front stage.

"Go Michael!" Jeremy cheered, clapping.

Michael smiled to himself at hearing Jeremy's voice and rushed up the small side stairs. The lights facing him blinded him for moment before he took the diploma and shook the principal's hand.

Jeremy continued cheering loudly, beaming brightly.

Michael spotted Jeremy in the crowd of student and smiled at him before moving back off the stage and back to his seat.

Jeremy got up, walking over to Michael, smiling, "This seat taken?" He sat down next to Michael.

" Hm. It's taken by you now. " Michael grinned back at him before leaning over to press a kiss to his lips.

"Well. We did it." Jeremy sighed looking down at his diploma.

Michael placed his head on Jeremy's shoulder. " Yeah. Finally. But there's still college next. " He groaned.

"But at least we'll be cool. Huh?" Jeremy put an arm over Michael's shoulder.

" ' Guys like us are cool in college. ' " Michael remarked.

New Jersey Institute of Technology here they came.


	9. Chapter Nine // Cool In College.

"Michael! I'm home!" Jeremy opened the door to the dorm room, setting his bag and textbooks on the coffee table.

Michael came out of their shared room and and greeted him. " Hey Jer! How was class? "

"Tiring and boring as usually." Jeremy sighed, kissing Michael's forehead.

Michael laughed softly and led him over to the couch and sat down.

Jeremy sat down, slouching slightly and closing his eyes.

Michael began to play with small tufts of Jeremy's hair and trying his best to do tiny braids with them.

Jeremy opened one eye, smiling goofily at Michael.

Michael leaned over and kissed Jeremy's lips softly while keeping the braid in place.

Jeremy hummed softly, placing a hand over Michael's.

Michael smiled to himself and looked proudly at the slightly successful braid he created from Jeremy's short hair. " If you had longer hair this would be easier. "

"But I like my hair." Jeremy poked Michael's side.

Michael let out a loud laugh. " N-No Jer, I'm ticklish there..! "

"I know!" Jeremy began tickling Michael's sides softly.

Michael doubled over in laughter and tried his his best to pry away Jeremy's hands. " J-Jer! "

"Yes?" Jeremy stopped, smiling slightly.

" I won't let you win! " Michael smirked and started to kiss him all over his face and neck.

Jeremy laughed, clinging onto Michael.

Michael pressed one long kiss to Jeremy's lips before putting his main focus on his neck.

Jeremy glanced at Michael, running a hand through his boyfriend's hair.

Michael stopped on the side of Jeremy's neck before gently biting down on the soft skin and sucking.

Jeremy stood up, slowly picking up Michael, carrying him back to the bedroom.

Michael finished the mark before looking up at Jeremy. He was about to speak when he decided to shut himself up.

Jeremy set down Michael on his bed, moving over to him with a light smirk playing on his face.

>>>

Michael woke up and immediately felt sick to his stomach. He sat up in the bed and ripped off the covers.

Jeremy stirred slightly from his bed, opening his eyes slightly, "Michael?.."

Michael jumped out of the bed and rushed over to the bathroom, ignoring Jeremy for that moment.

Jeremy climbed out of bed, yawning and slowly getting up, "You alright?"

Michael opened the lid to the toilet and began to throw up.

Jeremy shook the last of sleepiness away, hurrying to the bathroom, kneeling besides Michael and rubbing his back.

Michael continued to throw up for about 10 more seconds before wiping his mouth and leaning back into Jeremy.

Jeremy wrapped an arm around Michael from behind, kissing the back of his head, "You okay?"

Michael nodded and buried his face in Jeremy's chest. " Y-Yeah, I think I'm just getting sick.. "

"Well don't get me sick." Jeremy kissed Michael's cheek.

" I'll try not to. But it'll be hard with you kissing me so much. " Michael winked at him with a small smile.

"But I love you." Jeremy laughed softly.

" Your love will just get you sick " Michael booped Jeremy's nose lightly.

"Love sick?" Jeremy poked Michael's side.

Michael laughed from the poke. " You dork. "

"Yep. I'm very aware of the fact that I am a dork. But I also have school in forty five minutes so I'm going to get ready." Jeremy got up, helping Michael up.

Michael smiled at him before glancing over at the mirror. " Is it just me or do I look a bit heavier? " He asked out of the blue.

"You look fine." Jeremy assured, ruffling Michael's hair.

" Mkay. Whatever you say. " Michael shrugged and leaned up to kiss his cheek quickly.

"It's true." Jeremy grinned, sticking his tongue out at Michael and walking back into the bedroom.

Michael followed out and sat on his bed. " Well, there's no way in hell I can fall back asleep after that. " He sighed.

"I can't because I'll be late for class." Jeremy changed his shirt, pulling on his worn out blue jacket.

Michael groaned. " Fine. I'll go get lunch when you're gone or something. " He said and laid back.

"Drink lots of' water and go easy on food alright? I don't want you to get any sicker." Jeremy smiled.

" Okay mom. " Michael rolled his eyes with a small laugh.

"Hey. I just care about you." Jeremy folded his arms.

" I know you do Jer. Try not to fall asleep in class today. " Michael teased him.

"Alright. I won't." Jeremy grinned, grabbing his backpack and textbooks, "Love you." Jeremy walked over and kissed Michael's forehead.

Michael laughed lightly. " Love you too. " He replied and looked up at him.

>>>

Jeremy strolled out of class, a slight smile on his face as he walked back to the dorm, as usual stumbling once or twice. He went to unlock the dorm door only to find it unlocked. Michael always locks the door... "Michael? I'm home."

No response.

"Oh no." Jeremy's heart dropped, "Please not again..." He walked back to the bedroom, "M- Michael?"

Still no response.

"Michael!" Jeremy hurried out of the bedroom, going to open the bathroom door, only to find it locked.

A small and faint sound of sobbing could be heard from behind the door.

"Michael? Can you open the door? Please? Are you okay?" Jeremy knocked softly.

" J-Jeremy? "

"Yeah... Can you please open the door? Did you hurt yourself?" Jeremy turned the doorknob.

" N-No. " He weakly answered.

"A- Alright... Open the door... Please..." Jeremy softly begged.

He didn't respond as he continued to cry.

"Michael. Open. The door." Jeremy repeated more sternly.

Michael was shook by the sudden harsh tone in Jeremy's voice. But he felt like he was making him angry. That thought made him cry harder.

"Michael! Please open the door!" Jeremy paced in front of the door, banging on it a few times, the worse possible ideas filling his head.

Michael wailed harder at Jeremy's usually comforting tone becoming so hard.

"Michael!" Jeremy kicked at the door with no success. He walked off, grabbing a barstool from the kitchen.

Michael pulled and tugged at his hair as he tried to let go of all the bad thoughts clouding his mind.

"If you're by the door move away Michael." Jeremy called out to the sobbing boy, slamming the stool into the door, breaking a small hole in the door.

Michael looked up with shock at the loud noise only to look directly at the hole. " J-Jeremy?! "

Jeremy slid his hand through the hole, unlocking the door and opening it, rushing over to Michael and falling to the floor next to him, hugging him tightly, "D- Don't scare me like that again."

Michael just hugged Jeremy back barely for a minute before pulling away and looking at him. " You're fucking insane, Jer. " He put on a smile.

"I- I thought you... You tried to kill yourself again..." Jeremy let tears fall down his face.

Michael wiped off the tears from Jeremy's face. " As long as you care about me, I won't try to do anything what will hurt you, Jeremy. "

"I love you..." Jeremy pulled Michael closer, "W- What's wrong?"

Michael let his softness die off. " What's wrong? This is what's wrong. " Michael leaned over to pick up stickish item from the ground and handed it to Jeremy.

"What is thi-" Jeremy looked at the stick for a second before dropping it, his heart basically stopping right then and there, "Oh no. Michael I-"

" Exactly. Jeremy what the fuck are we supposed to do? What the fuck am I supposed to do? " Michael asked as he stared at him.

Jeremy remained silent, looking at the floor, muttering meaningless words to himself.

" What the fuck am I supposed to do? " Michael repeated. He was getting an answer out of him no matter what.

"I don't know..." Jeremy mumbled.

" Well I don't fucking know either! It's obviously yours since I haven't been seeing any other guys! " Michael yelled.

"Well you're fucking having it! You tell me what you're going to do with it!" Jeremy snapped.

" We're in college, Jeremy! I can't have a child now! " Michael continued on.

"Then get rid of it! I don't fucking care!" Jeremy stood up.

" I'm not going to kill a baby Jeremiah! " Michael screamed.

Jeremy flinched at the name, backing up, smoothing back his hair with his hands, "I- I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that..."

" I don't care. You're sleeping on the couch tonight. " Michael growled before storming out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

Jeremy looked at himself in the mirror, sighing, There you go again Jeremy. Ruining his life. Again.

They both left the pregnancy test on the floor untouched.

>>>

Michael cried as he curled up onto the couch, Jenna and Christine on either side of him. " I just can't fucking believe him.. " He mumbled softly.

"It'll be okay Michael..." Christine hugged Michael tightly, trying to comfort him.

Jenna placed an arm around Michael as well while giving Jeremy a death glare.

Michael wiped off his face even if it made no difference as the tears kept falling down his face.

Jeremy moved further away from the three, fumbling with the promise ring on his finger.

Jenna stares for a bit longer before turning back to Michael. " It'll all be okay Michael. "

"We'll figure something out." Christine smiled.

Jeremy nodded softly.

"We as in not you Jeremy." Christine glanced at Jeremy.

Michael buried his head in Christine's shoulder and tried to stop his crying. God, everything went downhill in one day.

>>

Jeremy sat on the opposite side of the couch, glancing over at Michael who now sat alone, he let out a soft sigh.

Michael looked over at Jeremy and glared harshly at him.

"What did I say?" Jeremy put his hands up slightly.

" Who did you is what you should be asking. " Michael scoffed.

+

"Michael I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen." Jeremy put his face in his hands.

" Mhm. " Michael hummed and looked off.

"It was accidental I swear!" Jeremy glanced up.

Michael rolled his eyes and laid back on the couch.

"I am sorry. I know I ruined your life. Again. And I'm so sorry. Please, if you are going to have this baby I want to be there with you..." Jeremy begged.

Michael stared at the floor for a moment before letting out a small breath. He sat up and almost was hesitant to speak. " I-I'm sorry Jer. I've just been extra pissy with you a lot now and you don't deserve that. This does put stress onto you as well and I haven't realized that. " His eyes looked up to Jeremy's.

Jeremy moved closer to Michael, wrapping an arm around him, "Thank you." He smiled softly.

Michael hugged Jeremy back tightly. " It's nothing. And Jer? "

"Hmm?" Jeremy looked at Michael.

" I love you. More than anything. " Michael grinned brightly.

"I love you too." Jeremy kissed Michael's forehead, holding a hand over Michael's stomach, pausing slightly and tilting his head.

Michael nodded slightly as he buried his head in Jeremy's shirt.

Jeremy rested a hand on Michael's stomach, "H- How long?"

Michael closed his eyes. " T-Three months. "

"That long? Damn." Jeremy muttered.

" Y-Yeah. Yesterday is when you finally noticed and woke up. " Michael sighed.

"It didn't just start yesterday? Why didn't you tell me Michael?" Jeremy kissed the side of Michael's face.

" I wasn't sure what it was for a while. I only barely found out. I'm sorry Jer. " Michael admitted.

"It's okay..." Jeremy paused, "So have you decided what you're going to do? W- With the baby?"

Michael looked at the floor and paused for a moment. " I want to keep it. "

"If that's what you want. I'll support you." Jeremy smiled.

There was a banging at the door followed by it flinging open, "HEERE YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD." Rich screeched.

Jake followed behind him. " WE'RE HERE TO BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU. " He yelled.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Jeremy hid his face with his arms.

Michael almost fell out of Jeremy's lap from the random screaming. He then realized what was happening and started to laugh.

Rich threw a punch at Jeremy.

Jeremy flinched "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM."

" RICH NO! " Michael yelled and held out a hand to motion for him to stop.

" WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING " Jake screamed, confused as hell.

"Your fucking tall ass ruined your boyfriend's life!" Rich grabbed the front of Jeremy's shirt. "AGAIN."

" RICH STOP IT NO! " Michael hugged Jeremy. " HE's fine! I swear! "

Rich hesitantly let go of Jeremy's shirt.

Jeremy stumbled forward slightly, "Jesus Christ, Rich."

Michael hugged Jeremy protectively. " Now can you calmly explain to me what the fuck is going on?? "

"Jenna told me what Jeremy did. Or. Who. He did. Bad time for that joke? Yeah? Sorry- And got pregnant." Rich folded his arms.

" Rich, I forgave him. So would you mind maybe not beating up my boyfriend? " Michael informed him, rolling his eyes.

"Fine. But I've got my eyes on you tall ass." Rich glared at Jeremy.

Michael sighed and sat back on the couch. " Tell Jenna and Christine that they don't have to attack Jeremy as well, please. "

"Well Jenna already wrote a ten thousand word Twitter rant on it. Right Jake?" Rich smirked softly.

Jake nodded as he took out his phone to show it. " Yeah, Jenna did. " He pulled up Jenna's Twitter page and handed it to Michael.

Michael scrolled through it, only slightly surprised. Jenna would definitely be the type to do this.

"Wow. Jenna's calling me a rapist now." Jeremy glanced at the phone.

Michael quietly laughed at the tweets. " Don't worry Jer, you're my rapist. " He teased.

"How is that any better?!" Jeremy scoffed.

" Quiet quiet, I'm just teasing. But I really should talk to Jenna about this. " Michael put an arm around Jeremy, while handing back the phone to Jake.

Jeremy leaned into Michael's shoulder, "I feel like stabbing Jenna right now. Not gonna lie."

" And you're a murderer? Wow Jer, I didn't know you had it in you. " Michael winked at him.

"Don't give her any ideas on what else she can call me out for." Jeremy poked Michael's cheek.

"Well I'm gonna tell Jenna you're a murderer. Have a nice day Heere." Rich walked out of the door.

Jake followed behind Rich and closed the door as Michael laughed.

"RICH GORANSKI I SWEAR TO GOD-"


	10. Chapter Ten // Cool In College. // Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Pregnancy, Transgender

" I guess they're right, pregnancy does make you horny. "

"Michael. Why." Jeremy put his head in his hands.

" Because it's true. " Michael defended himself and crossed his arms.

"I didn't need to know that though." Jeremy looked over at Michael.

" The more you know, Jer. " Michael winked at him and sat down next to Jeremy.

"But I didn't want to know that. Jesus." Jeremy slouched down, "You're kind of a sarcastic bitch when you're pregnant."

" Hey! " Michael lightly hit his arm. " But thanks. "

"Well I'm going out to get more ice cream because god knows you'll want it."

" I want ice cream with pickles in it Jeremy. " Michael said with a serious tone.

"They don't sell pickle ice cream." Jeremy sighed.

" Well then buy ice cream and pickles problem mcfuckin solved." Michael crossed his arms.

"Want anything else with that?" Jeremy got up from the couch.

" Cheese. "

"You have the weirdest cravings ever what the fuck." Jeremy slipped on his shoes, "What kind of ice cream. Darling?"

" Wasabi. " Michael pulled out his phone and started to scroll through it.

"Alright. I'll be back in a few. Love you." Jeremy rushed out the door before Michael could add to the list.

>>>

"Michael! I'm home." Jeremy set the bags on the counter.

Michael raced out of their bedroom and into the kitchen. " Did you get the cheese? " Michael asked.

"Right here." Jeremy took the cheese out of the bag.

" How about the pickles? " Michael added.

"Um..." Jeremy dug through the bags, "Fuck. I forgot the pickles."

" You forgot the pickles? " Michael's eyes started to tear up.

"Yeah. I got the ice cream though." Jeremy held up the ice cream to Michael.

" It's not the same without pickles! " Michael cried out.

"Why are you crying?! It's just pickles!" Jeremy set the ice cream on the counter.

" It makes the ice cream taste better! " Tears fell down Michael's face as he picked up the ice cream container.

"I can just go back and get more pickles!"

" It's too late now! " Michael also picked up the cheese as well and dumped them both into the trash can. " Plus I didn't even like that kind of cheese. "

"Well you didn't specify! So I just got American!" Jeremy sat on the barstool.

" We've been friends for 15 years and you still don't know what kind of cheese I like? " Michael argued against him.

"Why are you friendzoning your boyfriend?!" Jeremy put his head down.

" Because I'm breaking up with you! "

"Again?! What did I do this time? Last time it was that I turned the A.C down one!"

" You didn't get me any pickles or the right kind of cheese! " Michael let tears rolls down his face.

"Well okay then!" Jeremy got up and walked back to the bedroom, "I'm taking a nap!"

" Fine! "

>

Jeremy groaned, opening his eyes, looking at Michael who was currently poking his cheek repeatedly.

" Jer. Hey Jer. Jerrr. " Michael repeated continuously.

"What?" Jeremy rolled onto his back.

" I love you. "

"I thought you broke up with me."

" I was just kidding, god Jeremy. "

"I love you too." Jeremy yawned, sitting up.

Michael hugged onto Jeremy's side and kissed his cheek softly.

"I don't know who to blame at this point. Myself. You. Or the baby." Jeremy poked Michael's stomach.

" All of the above. " Michael smiled up at him. " But probably mostly the baby's. "

"Have you decided on a name for her?" Jeremy asked.

" I'm think Emma Heere. " Michael responded. " I like the initials too. "

"Eh." Jeremy shrugged.

" Literally. " Michael laughed softly.

"Why my last name?" Jeremy bit his lip, "Putting our kid through twice the humiliation. Her initials are E.H. and when they take attendance..." He shuddered.

" I already know about your tragic attendance stories Jer. But c'mon, Mell doesn't fit that well. " Michael leaned his head onto Jeremy's shoulder.

"I guess not." Jeremy sighed kissing Michael's forehead.

" Anyways, I'm tired so, " Michael leaned them back down on the bed and pulled the covers up. " Night Jer. This is partially for waking you up randomly. "

"Night Michael." Jeremy pulled Michael closer, wrapping his arms around him.

>>

Michael's eyes shot open to face complete darkness when he felt a harsh pain in his stomach. " Holy fuck- " He said out while trying not to put the pain into his voice. " What the fuck is-- Jeremy? " He called out to the blackness of the room.

No response. Michael could make out soft snoring from Jeremy's side of the room.

" Jeremy. " Michael called out louder to him, taking deep breaths now.

"Mm?" Jeremy muttered.

" Jeremy it h-hurts- " Michael placed a hand over his stomach.

"What hurts?" Jeremy yawned turning on a lamp.

" My soul. What do you think? My stomach! " Michael held in a scream from pain.

"But it's only been seven months..." Jeremy got up, walking over to the side of Michael's bed.

" Still! I think it's happening now! "

"Oh fuck... Uh... Hang on..." Jeremy grabbed his shoes and jacket, putting them on, "Do you need me to carry you?"

" Oh no I can walk, it just feels like my stomach is fucking eating itself. Yes I need you to! " Michael sat up on the bed.

Jeremy carefully picked up Michael bridal style, stumbling back slightly, "I- I've got you..."

" To the car! " Michael pointed off as he cheered.

"Cheerful I see..." Jeremy noted, racing out to the car and setting Michael in the passenger seat.

" Well, the pain isn't as bad anym-moTHERFUCKER. OW. " Michael was cut off by the pain of a contraction.

Jeremy laughed softly, starting the car and quickly driving out of the parking lot.

" Don't laugh at my pain! " Michael scolded Jeremy as the car began to move.

Jeremy took a hand off the steering wheel, grabbing onto Michael's.

Michael squeezed Jeremy's hand whenever the contractions would hit.

Jeremy bit his lip, "Oh that fucking hurts." He overly cheerfully smiled.

" Oh this pain fucking hurts. " Michael mocked him as he tried to stare straight ahead at the road.

Jeremy pulled into the hospital parking lot, braking abruptly.

" moTHERFUCKER EVERYTHING HURTS. " Michael yelled loudly at all the pain that was happening at once.

Jeremy quickly got out of the car, going over to the passenger side and opening it, picking Michael up again, almost falling. "Shit you're heavy..."

" THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY " Michael screamed. " IM CARRYING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING HOW DO YOU THINK ILL BE? "

"Right... Right." Jeremy briskly walked to the Labor and Delivery doors.

" Can you walk any slower? " Michael asked loudly.

"I'm hurrying! Damn!" Jeremy kicked the glass door open quickly walking in, a nurse immediately notices them and pages for doctors.

" You're not hurrying fAST ENOUGH. "

"You don't have to yell. God." Jeremy muttered, approaching the doctors with the rolling hospital bed, laying Michael down on it.

" THE PAIN MAKES ME YELL- "

" What's going on here? " One of the doctors asked.

" i'M GOING INTO FUCKING LABOR WHAT DO YOU THINK " Michael screeched.

" But you're a man- "

Michael inhales deeply. " I. Am. Going. Into. FUCKING LABOR. WHAT DO YOU THINK? I HAVE A GIANT FUCKING TUMOR ON MY STOMACH?! "

"He's transgender..." Jeremy muttered to one of the doctors.

" I see. Get him to room 112, I'll find Dr. Smith. " The doctor directed.

>>

Michael yells again and squeezes Jeremy's hand. " I guess you really are a- " He paused to hold in a scream. " -scrub. "

"Now is not the time." Jeremy winced at the grip Michael had on his hand.

" It's always the time- oW FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW " Michael had another one hit as he screamed.

"You're going to break my fucking hand Jesus Christ!" Jeremy hissed.

" Not my fault! " Michael paused. " oW FUCK OFF CONTRACTIONS. "

"Deep breaths..." Jeremy brushed a strand of Michael's hair to the side.

Michael silently screamed at the re-occurring contractions as he tried. " I can't do this with all the paIN. "

"Deep. Breaths." Jeremy repeated.

Michael gave up and screeched again, " aH I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME "

>>>>

" I DON'T WANNA DO THIS, I'M GOING THE FUCK HOME. "

" You're having a child, you can't go home! "

" WELL FUCK THAT I'M OUT BITCHES "

" mICHAEL STAY IN THE BED. "

>>

" Sir, you need to keep your legs open. "

" I'LL COME BACK TOMORROW. "

" Michael you're making this 10 times harder than it needs to be. "

>>

" I want to die. "

" Die after you have the baby then. "

" GlADLY. "

>>

" Remember to breathe Michael. "

" I fuCKING KNOW. I'VE BEEN BREATHING SINCE I WAS FUCKIN BORN. "

>>

 

" JEREMY HEERE WE ARE NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN. "

" Well at one point in your life you're going to want to again. "

" THEN MAKE IT ANAL. "

>>

" ANAK KA NG PUTA " Michael screamed.

" What are you saying Michael- "

" KAIN TAE JEREMIAH HEERE. "

" You're scaring me. "

" BE AFRAID. BE VERY FUCKING AFRAID. "

>>>>

Jeremy sat in the chair next to Michael's bed, his head resting on Michael's knees.

Michael slightly stirred in the bed as he yawned softly. He barely peeked open an eye and then he remembered where he was. " J-Jeremy.. " Michael said weakly.

"Hmm?" Jeremy lifted his head, grabbing Michael's hand.

" What happened? I don't really remember anything.. " Michael asked, trying to think of anything he did.

"You bit my hand when I said you couldn't have chicken wings."

" Don't deprive me of chicken wings. Lesson learned Jeremy. " Michael softly laughed.

"You also said a bunch of shit in Tagalog." Jeremy added.

" Don't ask about that. " Michael said quickly with a small tint of pink covering his face. " But Jeremy, how's Emma..? "

Jeremy hesitated. "Not too good."

" What do you mean? " Michael asked slowly.

"She didn't cry when... She wasn't breathing Michael."

" I-Is she going make it? " Michael didn't want to know the answer.

"I don't know..." Jeremy mumbled, taking a hold of Michael's hand.

" Jeremy, I can't lose this baby. " Michael looked at him directly, tears starting to prickle at the corners of his eyes.

There was soft knock at the door followed by a nurse opening the door, holding a small bunch of blankets in her arm.

Michael looked over and started to sob. " Oh my god she's okay she's okay she's okay. She's alive. " He said shakily through tears.

Jeremy smiled, wiping away tears and taking Emma from the nurse, carefully handing her to Michael.

Michael took her gently in his arms as he bounced her slightly. " Hi, Emma. " He said quietly.

Jeremy kissed Michael's temple, glancing down at Emma and smiling.

Michael leaned his head on Jeremy's shoulder and watched Emma look around curiously.

Jeremy wrapped an arm around Michael, glancing at Emma.

" Oh my god, she's so small. Why is she so small? Why are you so small? " Michael looked between Emma and Jeremy.

"I dunno. Maybe it's because she was born two months early." Jeremy smirked softly.

" I mean if I was stuck in someone's stomach who only ate wasabi, cheese, and pickles for 7 months I'd wanna get out of there too. " Michael remarked with a short laugh.

"She has your eyes." Jeremy noted, leaning in and gently kissing the top of Emma's head.

" Wow, you don't have to look at my face to say that. " Michael watched her face scrunch up and then start to cry. He looked over at Jeremy.

"What did I do?!" Jeremy put his hands up slightly.

" Nothing. She just doesn't like you. " Michael stuck out his tongue at Jeremy.

"Ouch. My daughter doesn't love me." Jeremy frowned slightly.

" Probably because you're a scrub, Jer. " Michael laughed at his own joke.

"They made me wear these Michael." Jeremy crossed his arms.

" You could take them off and you'd still be a scrub. "

"At least Emma doesn't think I'm a scrub. Right Emma?" Jeremy held out a finger to Emma.

Emma grabbed a hold of Jeremy's finger, pulling it close to her mouth and biting it.

"Dammit."

Michael started to laugh loudly at the action and almost began to cry from laughter.

"What's so funny?!" Jeremy furrowed brows slightly.

" You're a scrub. " Michael said through heaving breaths. He leaned over and softly kissed him on the nose. " My scrub. "

"I'm not a scrub." Jeremy huffed, pouting.

" Yes you are. " Michael hummed.

"Am not." Jeremy stuck his tongue out at Michael.

" Am too. " Michael booped his nose.

"Michael that didn't make any sense." Jeremy blinked a few times.

" Shut up. " Michael laughed.

"I love you..." Jeremy sighed, "But sometimes you don't make any sense."

" You know I've been like that for forever Jeremy. And I love you too. " Michael leaned up to kiss to him.

Jeremy moved into the kiss, smiling, pulling away after a second or so, "You should probably get some sleep. I can take Emma if you wa-"

" nO. I spent like 5 hours with pain to birth this child. I'm not going to sleep. "

"You need sleep." Jeremy sighed.

" I need love from Emma. " Michael grinned.

"Snuggle with her while you sleep." Jeremy suggested, leaning back in his chair.

" Ughh, that's not the same though. " Michael groaned and bounced Emma lightly.

"I give up. I'm going to sleep, move over." Jeremy stood up.

Michael smiled brightly at Jeremy before scooching over to the other side of the hospital bed.

Jeremy climbed into the bed next to Michael, putting an arm around him.

Michael leaned on Jeremy's shoulder and closed his eyes, cradling Emma.

" I love you. "

>>

" Okay, so we've gone through all of Emma's blood work- " A nurse came into the room and looked over some papers before looking up.

Michael had his head snuggled into Jeremy's chest as his arm wrapped loosely around his back. Emma was asleep in Jeremy's arm without a sound.

Things could turn out well after all.

 

 

Or not.


	11. Chapter Eleven // Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Abuse

5 Months.

Jeremy sat awkwardly at the end of the couch, his face slightly red as he glanced over at Michael. “Do you really have to breastfeed her? Can't you just use a bottle?”

“ It’s not good to feed from a bottle, Jeremy! “ 

“Can't you do it in the bedroom or something?” Jeremy messed with his jacket sleeves.

“ Well it says on the website that you’re supposed to feed your baby in a well lit area. And this is the best lit room in the dorm! “ Michael rolled his eyes.

“Why me?” Jeremy put his face in his hands.

“ oW. What the fuck, Emma? “ Michael yelped as he felt a pain and he looked down at the baby. 

“What's wrong?” Jeremy turned to Michael.

“ She fuckin’ bit my nipple. “ Michael pulled up his shirt as he concentrated on Emma. 

“But she doesn't have teeth!” Jeremy laughed.

“ Well damn she does now! “ Michael glared at Jeremy before going to look at Emma’s mouth. “ But shit that hurt a lot. “ 

“Pfft.” Jeremy snorted.

Michael got up and handed Emma to Jeremy gently. “ Well fuck that we’re bottle feeding her. I’m going to the store. “

 

>>

6 Months.

 

“Em! Hey-” Jeremy waved the spoon of baby mush in Emma's face.

Michael leaned over the counter next to Jeremy, dying from laughter. He had been trying for the past 30 minutes and Emma still wouldn’t eat it. 

Emma smacked the spoon away, giggling.

Jeremy walked over to the wall, banging his head against it.

Michael looked at Emma and gave her a small thumbs up before going over to Jeremy, rubbing his back. “ Aw c’mon Jer. You’re probably just bad at feeding small children. “

“I. Give. Up. You feed her.” Jeremy sighed.

“ Alright, Alright. Em, let’s see if you end up making me a mess as well. “ Michael picked up a spoon and dipped it into the mush. 

Emma clapped her hands, smiling at Michael.

Michael tasted a bit of the baby food. “ Wow. Not as bad as I was expecting. “ He shrugged.

“How can you eat that shit?” Jeremy squinted at Michael.

“ It’s good, Jeremy. “ Michael said plainly before turning back to Emma. “ Alright, here comes the choo-choo train Em! “ He grinned as he began to move the spoon to her mouth.

Emma leaned in, grabbing onto Michael's hand with both of hers, smiling widely.

“ eaT IT. “ Michael shoved the spoon in Emma’s mouth since she was already smiling and looked proudly at her.

Emma ate most of it, spitting out the rest and Jeremy glared at Michael with envy. 

Michael looked back and smiled at Jeremy. “ And that’s how you feed a child. “ He said with a bow. 

“Em. Emma. Emma Heere. Why do you hate me?” Jeremy looked over at Emma.

“E-E…” Emma looked at Jeremy and Michael.

“ Ohmygod she saying a thing. “ Michael squealed and pulled Jeremy over as he watched her with amazement in his eyes. 

“Em.” Emma reached out for Michael.

“ Wow, self-centered. Just like her father. “ Michael laughed and nudged Jeremy. 

“Oh shut the hell up.”

>>  
Nine Months. 

Michael stuck his tongue on in concentration as he rapidly pressed the buttons and violently moved the joystick. “ Fuck fuck fuck, oW- “ 

“Put that back.” Jeremy remarked, his eyes glued to the screen.

Emma crawled around on the floor, a stuffed animal in one hand.

“ Never. “ Michael replied swiftly as he tried to get his health back up. 

“Dude! Watch out!” Jeremy leaned into Michael.

Emma set the stuffed animal down, grabbing onto the edge of the coffee table, pulling herself to her feet, touching Michael's leg.

“ Ugh, get of- “ Michael began but stopped as he felt something. He paused the game and looked over at Emma. “ Woah holy fuck- “ 

“What?” Jeremy glanced at Michael, following his gaze, a smile forming on his face.

Emma looked at Michael trying to move from the table only to fall down, fussing slightly.

Michael watched Emma wide eyes before turning back to Jeremy. “ Did our child just take her first few steps or..? “

“Yeah…” Jeremy got up, walking over to Emma and kneeling down.

Michael followed Jeremy and he rubbed his thumb over Emma’s cheek. “ She’s amazing. “ 

Emma grabbed onto Michael's arm, looking silently up at him.

Michael silently screamed as he picked her up from the ground. “ Oh my god, I love you so much Emma Heere. “ He looked over at Jeremy. “ And I love you just as much Jeremy. “ 

Emma put her hands on Michael's face, looking happily at him.

>>>  
11 Months. 

 

Jeremy walked home from work, which happened to be Subway. He pulled out his phone, calling Michael.

“ Hello? “ Michael answered, a vacuum heard in the background.

“Hey. What's up?” Jeremy wiped his forehead of sweat.

“ Nothing, just playing video games. “ Michael pressed multiple buttons on the controller.

“Oh nice. How's Emma?” Jeremy smiled.

“ She’s been fine, I’m just feeding her. “ Michael looked over to Emma. 

“Oh… Multitasking?” Jeremy laughed.

“ Yeah. I’m vacuuming too. “ Michael added onto the list.

“Michael… What the fuck.” Jeremy whispered.

“ Also I’m hanging out with Christine and Rich. They’re getting their asses beaten at Overwatch. “ Michael laughed. 

“ SHUT UP MICHAEL “ Christine yelled. 

“HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS. YOU'RE PLAYING. WITH. YOUR. GODDAMN. FOOT.” Rich screeched.

“ So it’s been a fun time here at the dorm. “ Michael finally concluded. 

“Um. Well. I'm on my way home. Loveyoubye.” Jeremy hung up.

Michael smiled at the phone and set it down. “ Alright now that I’m done with vacuuming let’s get serious. “ Michael grinned over at the two.

“ How the heck can we get more serious?? You’ve beaten both of us every round so far. “ Christine asked. 

“I question your skills dude.” Rich glanced at Michael, blinking.

“ It’s been a long time practicing. “ Michael pretended to stare off and reminisce the times. “ But anyways, I’m starting another match. “

“I CALL WIDOWMAKER!” Rich grinned.

“ I CALL HANZO “ Michael yelled right after Rich, and then looked to Emma to make sure she wasn’t crying. 

“ I-uhh.. “ Christine looked over the screen at the characters. “ I’ll go with Mei..? “ 

“I'm gonna beat your ass Michael.” Rich leaned forward in concentration.

“ Like hell you will. “ Michael grinned to himself as he instead sat slightly back.

Christine looked between the two competitive boys before shrugging and stared mainly at her controller.

>>

“I'm back.” Jeremy opened the door, setting his bag down.

Michael sat on the couch with his head in his hands. He sighed softly to himself. Emma chewed at his hoodie strings and didn’t know what was going on.

Christine was dancing to some music that was playing off Rich’s phone.   
“oH YOU FUCKIN LOST B- B- BITCH!” Rich dabbed in Michael's face.  
“ And he lost to mE. “ Christine added salt to the wound as she chimed in with that.

“ Oh my god shut up you two. “ Michael mumbled. “ At least my daughter still loves me. “

“Uh…” Jeremy cleared his throat, looking at the hell laid before him.

Michael looked up to Jeremy and sat up, leaving Emma on the couch confused. He wrapped his arms around him. “ Thank god you’re here. “ 

“What happened?” Jeremy tilted his head.

“HE. LOST. TO CHRISTINE. IN OVERWATCH.” Rich dabbed again.

“OH.” Jeremy laughed, “DAMN. YOU LOST.”

“ Jeremiah Heere shut the fuck up or I’m not gonna make out with you or kiss you at all for the next month. “ Michael crossed his arms and stated. 

“HAa- I mean. That's horrible. You poor thing.” Jeremy picks up Michael, carrying him to the couch, wrapping him in blankets.

“BITCH.” Rich screamed, dabbing. 

Michael fell over on the couch so he was laying on it. “ I crave the sweet release of death. “ He said blankly. 

Emma looked over at Michael, crawling over on the couch to him, resting her head on his knee.

Michael looked down at Emma. “ The only people who love me are my daughter and boyf riend. “ 

“Lmao. Rip.” Rich leaned against the wall.

“ Shut up you midget. “ Michael groaned and sat up.

“ Michael! Don’t call out Rich like that. “ Christine scolded him. 

“Yeah Michael.” Rich frowned, wiping fake tears away.

“ Rich! Christine! Don’t call out me like that. “ Michael mocked and played with Emma’s hands. 

Emma looked up at Michael, grabbing a hold of his hand and looking at it carefully.

“ I can’t believe I lost my winning streak.. Emma, can you believe this? “ Michael asked as he sighed depressingly. 

“Da.” Emma put Michael's finger in her mouth, chewing on it.

“ oW WHAT THE FUCK EMMA. “ Michael removed his finger from Emma’s mouth and rubbed it. 

“She's just teething, Michael.” Jeremy laughed, walking to the kitchen and opening the freezer.

“ But it hurts like a bitch. “ Michael complained and glared down at Emma. 

Emma smiled and clapped her hands, leaning over and grabbing Michael's arm.

Michael’s glare formed into a smile the longer he looked at Emma. “ Awe, I can’t stay mad at you Em. “ 

“Can you forgive Christine then?” Rich leaned against the couch.

“ No. That’s unforgivable. “ Michael crossed his arms. 

“You'll redeem yourself.” Jeremy grinned, sitting down on the couch and handing Emma a teething ring.

“ Someday far from today. “ Michael glanced off at the wall and just stared.

“Roll credits.” Rich clapped loudly.

“ Thank you, thank you. I try my best. Maybe I can beat Christine at acting with that. “ Michael looked over to Christine and stuck out his tongue. 

“ oH YOU WANNA GO? “ Christine yelled, getting defensive. 

“ YEAH LET’S GO 3AM BEHIND DENNY’S. “ Michael yelled back.

“Michael! You can challenge Christine at fashion, you can challenge her at cooking. But never challenge her at acting. Ever.” Jeremy glanced at Michael, “I still have scars.”

“ Fuck your scars I’m insulted she beat me at the game. “ Michael looked over at Emma who just sat perfectly fine on the couch, chewing on the teething ring. 

“I'll be the ref.” Rich smirked slightly.

“ Suits you because you’re too short to fight. “ Michael stuck out his tongue out at Rich. 

“FUCK YOU SAY.” Rich screeched.

“ THAT YOU’RE A SHORT ASS MIDGET “ Michael repeated.

“I AM FIVE FOOT FIVE AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS.” Rich climbed up on the coffee table.

“ TRY ME I’M FIVE FOOT EIGHT BITCH AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GONNA BREAK MY COFFEE TABLE. “ 

“Jesus Christ.” Jeremy put his face in his hands.

“ Alright, Rich, we’re going home before this gets out of hand, my god. “ Christine cut in and pulled Rich down from the coffee table.

+!“PUT ME DOWN SO I CAN BITCH SLAP MICHAEL.” Rich screamed. 

“ You’re not going to hurt Michael physically in my good Christian home. “ Christine grabbed Rich’s ear and began to drag him out the door. “ It’s been fun guys but bye! “ 

“Well. That was interesting.” Jeremy sighed.

“ I’m gonna beat Rich’s ass. “ Michael mumbled under his breath.

“No. No you are not.” Jeremy pulled Emma into his lap. 

“ Pleaaaase Jeremy. “ Michael pleaded.

“Noooo.” Jeremy squinted at Michael.

“ Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase. “ Michael whined and rubbed up against him.

“Nooooooooooooooooo.” Jeremy kissed Michael's temple.

“ Fineee. “ Michael sighed and gave in after the kiss. 

“I love you Michael, but you're a pain in the ass.”

“ Awe, I love you too Jer. “.

>>>

Jeremy opened the door to the dorm, setting his bag down, “Michael... I'm home…”

“ What’s with the mood, Jer? Pissy co-worker or something? “ Michael came up to Jeremy quickly. 

“C- Can we… Sit down…” Jeremy looked at the floor.

“ Sure..? “ Michael looked at him concerned but led him to the couch nonetheless.

Jeremy wiped away tears that pricked the corners of his eyes before taking a deep breath, “Michael… I- I got fired.”

“ Well then fuck Subway.. “ Michael trailed off and looked at the ground. “ Y-You are joking, right? “ 

“No. I'm not…” Jeremy placed a hand over Michael's.

“ W-Well you just get a new job, it’s no big d-deal.. “ Michael said, only trying to convince himself. 

“Michael… College is getting really expensive… A- And with Emma…” Jeremy felt tears roll down his face.

“ W- what are you saying? ” Michael glanced up at Jeremy.

“Michael, Love… We can't afford to keep Emma.”

>>>

15 Years Later

“ EMMA! STOP PLAYING THAT DAMN VIDEO GAME AND GET DOWN HERE “ Catherine yelled to the upstairs where Emma was.

Emma sighed, turning off the console and pulling her hoodie over her head, walking downstairs slowly.

“ What did I say about using your Ethan’s stuff? “ David asked the teenager in front of him sternly.

Emma looked at the floor, “I- I'm sorry I was just-”

David raised his hand and backhanded Emma across her cheek. 

Emma whimpered, hugging herself, “Sorry… Sorry… Sorry…”

“ Now go upstairs. You’ve finished your homework, right? “ Catherine asked as she directed. 

“What's it matter? My life isn't worth it anyway…” Emma muttered.

“ You’ve finished it, correct? “ Catherine asked again sternly. 

“We didn't get any.” Emma sighed.

“ Mhm. Just go upstairs. Come down later. “ David cut in and pointed to the stairs. 

Emma ran up the stairs, waiting a few minutes before opening her window, climbing out and racing down the street to the park.

There was a boy in the tree next to the park, it was where you could usually find him. He wasn’t expecting anyone at the moment though before he spots Emma. 

“Troy!” Emma raced over to the tree, her short hair bouncing slightly.

“ Hey Em! “ Troy Murphy called down at the base of the tree before starting to climb down quickly. 

“How long have you been here?” Emma held a hand up to him.

“ Only like 20 minutes. My dad started to smoke in the house so it smelt bad. “ Troy explained 

“Which dad was it this time?” Emma grinned.

Troy lightly hit her shoulder with a smile. “ Shut up. You know which one it is already. “ 

“I dunno. I might have forgot.” Emma put her hands in her pockets.

“ Like hell you would after hearing so much about him. “ Troy put an arm around Emma’s shoulders and pecked the top of her head. 

“You're lucky to have parents who care at least.” Emma leaned into Troy.

“ At least you can escape from them for a while. I’ll be your knight in shining armor, princess. “ Troy picked up a stick hanging from the tree and held up in the air like a sword. 

“Bullshit!” Emma grabbed her own stick, smacking Troy with it softly.

“ Ouch. “ Troy put his hands up and let go of his stick and fell to the ground dramatically. “ I’ve been struck. “ 

“See you at the funeral.” Emma grinned, laying down besides him.

“ You’re not invited. Family members only. “ Troy laughed softly as he grabbed Emma’s hand.

“I am your girlfriend. Is that not family enough?” Emma glared at Troy.

“ Nope. Immediate family. And unfortunately you are too young to be married. “ 

“Oh scandalous. Dating someone two years younger.” Emma sarcastically remarked.

“ I’m a rebel. Got it from my edgy father. “ Troy pretended to wipe off his shirt. 

Emma laughed, “But luckily you got your other dad's sweetness.”

“ Luckily. If not I don’t know what I’d be by now. “ Troy remarked and looked over to Emma. 

“Smoking drugs?” Emma nudged him.

“ Of course. And snorting alcohol. “ Troy laughed as he kissed Emma’s cheek. 

Emma sighed, “You know I'm still running away. Right?”

“ Yeah.. I know. But it’s for the best. I don’t want you to be stuck with them you’re entire life. “ Troy sighed as well but gave a supportive smile. 

“I just need to get the money. I'm planning to steal some from their stash in the filing cabinets.” Emma rested her head on Troy’s shoulder.

“ Just don’t get caught, Em. “ Troy said softly as he ran fingers through her hair. 

“I'm pretty good at not getting caught sneaking out. So this shouldn't be that hard.” 

“ Okay. Just make sure they don’t have some creepy ass camera traps or something. “ Troy laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood. 

“They're heading out on a date on Friday night so I'll do it then.” Emma smiled.

“ Alright. I love you Em. “ 

>>>

Emma snuck down to the basement after putting Ethan to bed, digging through the filing cabinet. She pulled out a large wad of cash, stuffing it into her pocket, going to close the drawer, a paper getting stuck.

She took it out, glancing at it and going to put it back, her eyes trailing over the words, she froze, dropping the paper in her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B2gBvSsfykp6OHhRQlJXRjhxUE0


End file.
